Why is it that so few decent songs have been written about Thursday? Monday is pretty well covered. Friday has a decent variety. What is so wrong with poor old Thursday? In the news: Adam Vaughan officially sets his sights on federal politics, Rob Ford rallies against travel expenses, there is no big pay raise in the cards for councillors, the pedestrian tunnel to the island airport will be delayed … again, and the Gardiner will be closed this weekend.
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So, what did you do to mark Earth Day, yesterday? Nothing? Not even a Happy Earth Day card for your favourite tree? In the news: John Tory wants to be the man who planted trees, a recent study about aboriginal mortality rates in Toronto was misrepresented in the media, a woman finds a snake in her bathroom and wonders how it got there, and Flashdance—yes, that Flashdance—was inspired by Toronto and Hamilton.
So, Netflix is raising prices for new subscribers. Cue the pointless outrage. In the news: three elephants from the Toronto Zoo have taken nicely to sanctuary life, the Catholic teachers’ union is being urged to not participate in this year’s Pride Parade, nobody knows what happened to a $26,000 bottle of scotch, and Rubin “Hurricane” Carter has died.
Easter Monday! Where are we at with Jesus' resurrection today? It's hard to remember what happens on which day when you've stopped going to church. In the news: four fire trucks will be retiring from service, University of Toronto faculty are contemplating unionization, and a teen's case of homophobic discrimination will be heard by the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal.
Good Saturday! Right? Or is it just Saturday? But every Saturday is a good Saturday, amiright? Anyway, here's some news: a photographer is nearly finished an ambitious Toronto-based project, Olivia Chow's campaign deletes the most Facebook comments, and GO stations are trying to meet customers' food and drink needs.
Ah, Easter weekend. A wonderful time for Christians to celebrate Jesus, and non-Christians to celebrate that Jesus gives them extra time off work. In the news: Olivia Chow releases anti-Ford attack ad, expect more city blackouts in the future, and get ready for an early summer election (maybe).
So, on Monday a Nebraska toddler got stuck in one of those claw-style toy vending machine games. No, you read that right. That actually happened. In slightly less awesome news: Open Streets will happen this summer, a new zoning law could allow small businesses to open up within apartment towers, electronic joints may not be safe to smoke, and the who’s who of city councillors running for re-election this fall.
Can someone tell me if Coachella is over yet? I’m tired of having my eyes offended by celebrities prancing around dressed like idiots. In the news: the west end gets hit with a blackout, Olivia Chow leads the mayoral race, a fringe mayoral candidate criticizes the police budget, and Toronto marijuana grow-ops are disappearing.
If April showers bring May flowers, then what about snow flurries? In the news: Premier Wynne announces $29 billion for transit, cyclists get $25 million from the province, council contemplates a salary hike, and Toronto Police say it isn’t their fault that U.S. Border Patrol knows about suicide attempts by Ontario residents.
Post-Heartbleed, have you changed all your passwords and had a technology- or NSA-related panic attack yet? In the news today: the revitalization of Alexandra Park is a mixed blessing, CIUT's station manager apologizes for his poor handling of a mayoral debate, and urban trailer parks are on their way out.
It is a little-known fact that the earth stopped spinning for 0.05 seconds yesterday due to the high-pitched screams emitted from Marvel fangirls when they realized Robert Downey Jr. had joined Twitter. In the news: a state funeral for Jim Flaherty will take place next week, a possible closure of the northbound Allen Expressway is back on the table, Karen Stintz wants traffic lights to get "smarter" by using artificial intelligence, and Norm Kelly goes to Taiwan.
It's going to be a warm weekend, everyone! It's finally going to be a warm weekend! In the news today: OCAD is falling apart, Pearson Airport will fall apart in bad weather, and Norm Kelly wants to investigate the Toronto and Region Conservation Authority.
While Prince George was having a play date in New Zealand, a nine-month-old baby was being arrested for attempted murder in Pakistan. Now that you’re all caught up on infant headlines from around the globe, here is the news: a smartphone app to pay for parking is in the works, the City dishes out political donation rebates for non-Toronto residents, the TDSB votes against asking for a nudity ban at this year’s Pride Parade, and some radioactive stuff goes missing from Sunnybrook.
Wednesday—the day that we all feel like packing it in and calling it a week. Keep pushing forward. We can make it. In the news: changes are in store for Toronto liquor licences, a vague draft policy on carding needs more work, Rob Ford has some new muscle on his re-election campaign team, and the Leafs are not playoff-bound.
Only time will tell whether the Rob Ford Crackathon game will become the Drugwars of a new generation. In the news: Open Streets might transform Bloor Street this summer, new finance minister Joe Oliver chats with some old Bay Street chums, a transportation consultant from Great Britain schools Toronto on public transit, and a film based on an infamous Mississauga murder heads straight to VOD.
More Rob Ford news, sadly: His Worship lost his temper when he was denied entry to a lounge during the Maple Leafs' Saturday game. Other news for today: Olivia Chow has ideas about child care and transit, organic black peppercorn products are being recalled, and candidates start talking Gardiner.
Enjoy the weekend, everyone! We all deserve it. In the news: Karen Stintz wants to introduce a "transportation czar," measles cases are popping up in Toronto with alarming frequency, a co-working space launches for hardware startups, and a Toronto doctor is fielding offers to run for election.
Rob Ford is in the news again. By now it wouldn't feel like home if he weren't, though, would it? News today: Bill Clinton weighs in on Ford, staggering wealth inequality in Canada, city council approves more food trucks, and Unifor continues to push for car plant unionization.