Can’t get to Florida for Spring Break this year? Don’t fret, for with a few accessories, you can enjoy a Florida vacation in the comfort of your Toronto home. Sun, sea and surf are the essential elements. Add some Jimmy Buffet and break out the Coors Light—you’re on vacation! Illustration by Kevin McBride.

City councillor, unintentional humourist, and Torontoist favourite Councillor Rob Ford has grabbed himself some headlines again. He refuses to apologize for his comments on Wednesday, “the Oriental people, they’re slowly taking over…they’re hard, hard workers,” because his sweeping generalization was intended as “a compliment.” However, a spokesperson for the Canadian Council of Lazy Asians has [...]

Premier Dalton McGuinty has fired off a whiny letter to the PM complaining about Finance Minister Jim Flaherty’s public criticism of Ontario and its tax laws. Flaherty, who apparently counts all time lost when he’s not psychologically bitch-slapping his governmental inferiors, responded by calling McGuinty a “big stupid crybaby.” Time to start prying out grandma’s [...]

Toronto Zoo to go green. The Zoo will now focus on biodiversity and sustainability while presenting animals from around the world in small, depressing, joke-like habitats that offer a crude mockery of how the animals would prefer to live, focusing on the fact that while their lives in the zoo might suck, at least nobody [...]

Far be it from us to conflate professional sports with Bill Shakespeare—but the Toronto Maple Leafs’ actions before, during and after Tuesday’s NHL trade deadline recall Macbeth’s famous words: full of sound and fury, yet ultimately signifying nothing. Charges of heresy will be duly acknowledged. In the end, the promised blow-up never materialized. None of [...]

Imagine what the Caddy would think of this month’s snowfall. The car wouldn’t bother waiting for a driver to take in the greyhounds before the next storm strikes. Cars were sold at the northwest corner of Bay and Grenville for over 80 years, starting in 1925 with a dealership owned by General Motors of Canada [...]

It’s been the best of times, it’s been the worst of times for the Toronto Maple Leafs; in fact, the past couple weeks have been nothing short of surreal. First, the best of times: wins against the high-flying Ottawa Senators and Montreal Canadiens, followed by a thoroughly unexpected Hockey Day in Canada victory over the [...]

Chalk River reactor’s risk level was 1,000 times greater than normal. However, Stephen Harper is a certified nuclear engineer, so if he says it’s safe, then shouldn’t we trust him? Wait, what? He’s not a certified nuclear engineer? Well, dang. John McCain wins crucial Florida primary. The old coot narrowly defeated the Mormon android and [...]

David Miller delivered a balanced budget yesterday, thanks to higher property taxes, some fabulous new tariffs, and a one-time infusion of $150 million from the the provincial government. According to Miller, the property tax increase of 3.75% is in line with his commitment to limit raises to the rate of inflation (1.9% in Toronto last [...]

A Good Idea (In Theory) is a new play currently running at Passe Muraille that, as its title implies, is trying to do things a little differently. For starters, in lieu of a program, audience members are given a soundtrack CD. As the play's website explains, the idea behind the project came from the question: "What would happen if an award-winning stage play by a young Canadian was supported by a group of independent...

After MasterCard agreed to ante up $160k to keep city skating rinks open this December, local newspapers spoke with one voice in reporting the story. The Star offered the headline “Private bailout of city rinks…priceless,” the Post weighed in with “Skating in December…priceless,” and the Sun daringly dropped the ellipsis with “Donation: Priceless.” The Globe [...]

Spring is a time of renewal and rejuvenation. A time of change and new things. It makes sense that spring marks the start of the complementary health trade show circuit, with virtually every weekend promising another venue in which people can explore and learn. Some shows are a bit too “wacky” for some, but a [...]