Archive for 'Saira Peesker'
There’s something about this day that is just so “real.” So “now.” Take it in, bros. Don’t let the world pass you by. In today’s news: potential police beating, small zoos in limbo, cheap gas pandemonium, and the Sun reports on the Junos.
Gather 'round, kids! It’s time for a tale of magic, mystery, love, and woe. It’s provincial budget day! Super-happy budget day! In today’s news: BUDGET DAY, get it? Also: film industry blossoms, falling glass falls, puppy mill busted, and Leafs continue to disappoint.
Thrice the brinded cat hath mewed. Thrice, and once the hedge-pig whined. Harpier cried, 'tis time—for Saturday! That sassy witch loves the weekend as much as we do, you guys. Today: inside workers at the table, kidneys from Siberia, money from Balsillie, and keeping the bedbug bucks flowing.
I hate today’s news and I hate all of you! I’m never coming back to Wednesday! Neverrrrrrrrrr! Today: inside workers vote to strike, a “bloodbath” of school cuts, TTC vote day, woman found unconscious on Steeles.
You’re here! But you were in my dream! And you were there, and so were you, and even that weird backwards-talking guy from Twin Peaks was there. There really is no place like Saturday. Today, news-wise: missing girl’s remains found, Fantino’s campaign spending questioned, councillors buy mundane items, and there are lots of cars in Toronto.
It’s as though the beautiful, cleansing snow has hidden away our cares, maybe even given us hope that they’re gone altogether. Then we realize that beautiful snowman is just a piled of ice-crusted trash bags, and we go on with our day. Today: police beat another guy, Ford speaks to the Star, breastfeeding causes alarm, and a new housing plan seems to emerge.
This is not a newsocracy—I am the newstator! I will make the newscisions around here, and I will deal with the news-onsequences! Now, if there are no more newsruptions, we can newstinue. Today: LRT squabbling, woman found dead behind the Duff, raccoons are nasty, and booze-trailer heist.
I wonder, if I take you home, would you still be in love with me? In love with me? I honestly doubt it after you read today’s phunked-up news: Cheap beer to be slightly less cheap, McGuinty knew about ORNGE last year, outside workers offer to take a pay freeze, and the mayor may be called to the stand.
Get thee to a nunnery, week-between-Christmas-and-New-Year’s doldrums! We shall banish you will revelry, merry-making, and a slate of news that contains its share of exciting ups and downs. Today: Free TTC tonight, fare hikes tomorrow, a taxi robbery joyride, the mayor responds to the Star, and fewer murders this year.