As a famous snake once said, TGIF! Thank goodness I've fangs! If you're TGing today, let it be for Friday. We've had enough of the whole vampire craze. In the news: No casino plans for the Port Lands (or so they'd have us believe); road hockey will continue to be prohibited; inspection of the perfectly safe Gardiner has seemingly become more urgent; a bar in an unlikely place; more G20-related embarrassment for the Toronto Police; and no subway service from Bloor Station to Union Station this weekend.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMay. 25th, 8:00 am

Happy days are here again, it's Wednesday! Do the Hump Day dance! Well, no. Actually, don't, you might get charged with a crime and end up on a registry for the rest of your life. Instead, read some nice, harassment-free news: Pride funding may be in jeopardy; one city councillor says the mayor isn't doing his job (no word on how many other councillors are thinking it); more chunks of concrete crumble off the Gardiner Expressway; the royals have come and gone; ball hockey is prohibited on Toronto streets (what?!) but maybe not for long (phew) but it's not as simple as you think (what?!); a new cause for NIMBYs: the proposed casino; and Toronto's newest multimillionaire.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMay. 23rd, 8:00 am

Dust off those white shoes, starch those cream-coloured capris, and pour yourself a nice, cool bevy right out of that 2-4. It's Victoria Day! Hurray! Also happening: a new campaign promise made (or an old one broken?) by the (already in office) mayor; 2025's World Expo could be landing at our waterfront if one city councillor has her way; a new report suggests that police were provoked and attacked at the 2010 G20; and valuable information for Toronto's royal watchers.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMay. 21st, 10:00 am

You've spent the weekend dreading this day, but now that it's here, Monday doesn't really feel that bad, does it? No, it doesn't. We're good. Everyone's cool. Let's all just quietly catch up on the news: Mayor Ford wants the executive committee to scrap the five-cent bag fee; a study that examines the impact of the Eglinton LRT is set to begin this week; the Toronto housing market continues on an upward trend; Toronto's proposed waterfront casino adds a name to its Friends list; and issues with the EMS.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMay. 14th, 8:00 am

It's here! The weekend! You've counted down, you've done your TGIF dance, and now, finally, it's Saturday. Soak up all the weekend vibes while you can. They're fleeting. Also, enjoy some news: the mayor's executive committee set to meet Monday to discuss casinos; a new Pan Am Games map has been released; your concerns about falling concrete have been addressed (and dismissed); Councillor Karen Stintz gets a scolding; and birds, so many birds.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMay. 12th, 10:00 am

Just another Monday morning. What's that you say? You thought it was Sunday and overslept? We're here to tell you that it is in fact Monday, and to keep you informed about other things, too—like the news! Today: the Fencegate saga continues: questions arise about Mayor Ford's plans for the adjacent property, and the feud catches the attention of the Times; a proposed plan for the plastic-bag fee; a local schoolteacher wins the Toronto marathon for the second consecutive year; some local schoolkids made a video they're hoping will go viral; the Cumberland closes; and a rare flower opens.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMay. 7th, 8:00 am

It's the day you've waited all week for...it's Saturday! How does it feel? As good as you thought, or a little anti-climatic? We know, it's kind of a let down after all the build up. Just try to make the best of it. Also, here's some news: Mayor Rob Ford will have his day(s) in court this fall; Toronto's budget surplus is a few million more than anticipated; Bob Barker is sick and tired of the Toronto Zoo's shenanigans; Dancap Productions set to take its final bow this fall; possible arson at a local high school; and limited subway service downtown this weekend.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanApr. 28th, 9:58 am

Okay, Wednesday. It's on. Let's do this thing. But first, some news: Councillor Doug Ford just won't give up on subways; road tolls a topic of discussion among some city councillors; an art thief hits Sick Kids; a gold thief hits Harold The Jewellery Buyer (literally); CAMH set to announce a sizable donation; and Toronto's head of public health looks for new ways to keep the streets safe for foot traffic.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanApr. 25th, 8:00 am

It's time to shake off that upbeat weekend vibe and settle into the dull underlying sense of doom that marks the start of the week. It's Monday! Today: missing Toronto teen Michelle Yu turns up in BC; Toronto police use-of-force incidents on the decline; Mayor Rob Ford not alone in his decision to skip Pride; The City was one brother short on Sunday; and winter weather makes a chilly return.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanApr. 23rd, 8:00 am

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but that doesn't mean you should dismiss lunch or dinner as inferior. They might develop a complex. Don't forget that. Today: why single mothers should support the proposed Toronto casino; Pride sends Mayor Rob Ford his official invite; the mayor gives out the wrong number (again); and a traffic stop that went terribly wrong.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanApr. 16th, 8:00 am

If you are reading this, you've made it through Friday the 13th. Good for you. Pat yourself on the back. Now throw some salt over your shoulder. Great, you're all set for the weekend, and for today's news: Toronto's crossing guards the latest target in the City's bid to privatize; Toronto Police Services Board cracks down on carding; more woes for Air Canada travelers; and the DVP is closed for the weekend.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanApr. 14th, 10:00 am

It's the long weekend that just keeps on going! Or is it? Are you supposed to be at work today? Better find out. In today's news: city councillors air grievances about the soon-to-be built Air Rail Link; talk about a new subway line (no, not that one, an entirely different one, sorry, Mayor!); Toronto's role in the weekend's double lung transplant; Rob Ford just says no to sports field fees; and shades of socioeconomic inequality at tonight's Jays game.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanApr. 9th, 8:00 am

It went more quickly than it came; it's like it wasn't there. The weekend's gone, so far gone, and another Monday's here. Sigh. Today: the City's indoor workers are still on the job (for now); the Fords want to clean house; a conflict of interest at City Hall (no, not the one you're thinking of); an important ruling for sex-trade workers; and it's cold, oh so cold.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMar. 26th, 8:00 am

We told you this would happen, and it did. Monday's back. Today: librarians are officially off the job, and other indoor workers might soon follow; Toronto-Danforth likely to stay awash in orange; the High Park community rallies around playground rebuilding efforts; March Break vacationers face a tough trip home; and Toronto residents say, "You don't like us? We don't like you!" (Or, so say two polls that are in no way connected, but fun to compare, anyway.)

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMar. 19th, 8:00 am

Before fastening your "Kiss Me I'm Irish" button and heading out to dye your mouth green, how about some news? You can't drink it, you can't toast with it, but there's no line-ups, and no off-key bagpipes. You'll thank us later. Today: Mayor Rob Ford may call a referendum, a new poll finds that Toronto supports subways, Toronto voters receive transit-related robocalls, the mayor's former brother-in-law heads to the slammer, and a political candidate who just doesn't seem to have the luck of the Irish.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMar. 17th, 10:00 am

It's here—the day of the week that inspires catchy YouTube videos, ubiquitous acronyms, and the wearing of jeans and golf shirts—Friday! Today: Expert panel says LRT is the better way, mayor says, "Biased!"; Toronto loves us some librarians, but not other outside workers; Andy Byford rides the rails; getting to the bottom of racism (or not) among the police; and a whole lot of Jann Arden.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMar. 16th, 8:00 am

The morning darkness can only lead to the lightness of day before the dusk of evening. Or something poetic. It's Monday, DST has begun, and we've got news! A legal application to remove Mayor Rob Ford from office, Doug Ford voices his desire to remove a bike courier from the streets of Toronto, Torontonians protest the robocalls scandal, gridlock at Union Station, gridlock on the 410, and you might have noticed, yesterday was W-A-R-M.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMar. 12th, 8:00 am

It's back. Monday, it just never leaves us alone. However, it does provide us with news, so that's pretty good. Today: city council will debate changes to the TTC board; Scarborough residents talk transit; the Toronto Police are after you (although probably not you, unless you are a TTC-robbing bandit); rodents in a home (better than snake on a plane, right?); and it's cold. So very cold.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanMar. 5th, 8:00 am

It's another dreary February Monday, but the good news is that it's the last one we have to face (until next year. Sigh). Today: a commuter alert for Burlington-area transit users, a TTC near-tragedy, what the Toronto Taxpayers Coalition is up to now, and yes—we've worked in an Oscar mention.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanFeb. 27th, 8:00 am

Just in case you have woken up and haven't realized what day it is, let us help ease you out of your panicked rush to get ready—it's Saturday! Turn off that alarm clock, turn on the coffeemaker, and ease into some nice weekend news: poll findings show a lack of support for Mayor Rob Ford; U of T's TAs continue to report to work (for now); a plane lands at Pearson (yet all is not well?); and tracking murder stats in Toronto—yay!

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanFeb. 25th, 10:00 am

Good job! You've managed to make it to mid-week. Let's keep this positive trajectory going with some news! Torontonians want subways, but they also want Stintz (sheesh, make up your minds!); transit changes may mean bad news for Presto; it's a split pot when it comes to casino plans; Toronto's paramedics are mad, mad, mad; an intoxicated cop (maybe); and rocket cops in our city.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanFeb. 15th, 8:00 am

If today feels like the kind of Monday that makes you just want to crawl back into bed, that's okay. We'll even write you a note. Consider this it. But first, the news: TTC cuts go into effect; one expert thinks the transit system is a "mess"; love is (set to be) in the air at the zoo; a new attraction at Ontario Place (yeah, that's right); Toronto's Grammy glory; and today's a big day for outside workers.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanFeb. 13th, 8:00 am

It should be another "absolutely fantastic day" in Toronto, because it's Monday and we've got the news! Specifically: Things may get a little less than fantastic for Ford today as the transit feud heats up; a by-election has been called for the Toronto-Danforth riding; how the Toronto Police might be "whitewashing criminal justice" (spoiler alert: it involves stats!); there's a new (angry!) detective in town; and a quick commuter alert for eastbound Gardiner Expressway users.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanFeb. 6th, 7:57 am

We've happened upon the week's messed-up middle child—it's Wednesday! In today's news: the cost-cutting at city council seemingly doesn't apply to city-council salaries; some movement at the City/union bargaining table; visitor numbers continue to decline at the zoo; and Toronto's most opulent tower is now open.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanFeb. 1st, 8:23 am

Even though it might be the warmest winter ever, today's (traditionally) the coldest day of the year, AND it's Monday, so what does that mean? It means you might consider crawling back into bed and hiding under the covers today. But not before a little news: transit updates for LRT trackers and GTA riders alike; the Real Jerk is fighting back; and coyotes, so many coyotes.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanJan. 30th, 8:00 am

Before heading out to fill up on haggis and Scottish brew, it's best you find out what's going on in our neck o' the woods. Wednesday's news: a new transit plan gains street-level traction; backyard chickens may be here to stay (or not); paramedics rally at City Hall; Viva buses may be back on the roads soon; and some friendly competition from our friends on the west coast.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanJan. 25th, 8:00 am

Here we are again. The start of another week. Or the second day of the week, if you choose to believe your calendar. Today: TTC head honcho Karen Stintz has some thoughts about the Eglinton LRT, transforming Union Station, zip-lining in Toronto, and union talks continue.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanJan. 23rd, 8:00 am

WAKE UP! Just kidding, it's Saturday, you don't have to. Just kidding, you do, because otherwise how will you be a productive member of society? To help you get started, the news: the OPP gets involved in the infamous Ford vs. 911 debacle, the G20 saga continues, a Toronto building for sale with a hefty price tag, funding the war on bedbugs, and planes packed with pukers land in Pearson.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanJan. 21st, 10:00 am

Oh, Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday. Here you are again. Luring us in with your mid-week charms. There's only one way to combat your siren call, and that's a good hard look at the news. Today: a little something called the 2012 Budget, arrests outside City Hall, elementary schools go boutique, and the cards are stacked against the possibility of a Toronto casino.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanJan. 18th, 8:00 am

Now that it's actually January weather, let's all get back to complaining about the bitter, bitter cold. Surely we'll have some winter weather consistency from here on out, right? Well, if we can't count on that, here's something you can hang your hat on, the news! Today: fired union exec re-hired, a trial for five police officers very unlikely to find themselves back in their former roles, less of the Ford brothers to love, 20 per cent tips may be the new normal, and some animal-focused news.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanJan. 16th, 7:58 am

If you are not thinking about Alice the Camel and her two humps today, then maybe you just don't know that it's Wednesday. There. Now you do. Today: librarians are not going down without a fight, a rent increase that makes your rate bump sound like chump change, an alternative to the so-short-it's-silly ferry ride to Billy Bishop is on its way, bad news for BlackCreek, the future is dim at Toronto Hydro, and a Canadian soda featured in rap feud.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanJan. 11th, 8:00 am

It's Saturday! Which means there are only two more days until Monday is back, and really, how much fun can you have with that hanging over your head? You're welcome. Today: disheartening news for low income neighbourhood dwellers, Build Toronto to take home a pretty penny, Bell's pimping out old numbers, the woman who may save us from a City worker strike, and the YRT strike saga continues.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanJan. 7th, 10:00 am

It's the first Monday of 2012. Welcome to the beginning of the end. Today: the massive cost of the Eglinton Crosstown light rail line, more falling glass at Bay and College (but...this time it's different), the first baby of 2012, what crazy people do on New Years Day (think: hypothermia by choice), and the weather outside is weather.

By Jess Davidson • Illustration by Brian McLachlanJan. 2nd, 8:00 am