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cityscape

TTC Announces Bold New Plan

New development vision could bring hundreds of dollars to the transit system's coffers—and close a couple of stations.

The TTC has some big news: a task force led by the TTC is going to be pressing other orders of government for sources of “long-term, sustainable, predictable funding”—and it’s already got some suggestions of its own.

As Chris Upfold, Chief Customer Officer for the TTC, explains, Chester, Bessarion, Old Mill, and Summerhill stations serve very few people, and could be closed. The closing of these underused stations would not simply save money on the operational side—it would also open up exciting development opportunities: “Individual condo units on the platforms—it’s genius, really,” says Upfold. “We break the platforms up into living quarters, and we sell them.”

But that’s not all: the stations could become fully contained mixed-use communities, with cabaret clubs, bowling alleys, and billiards. “All the things,” as Upfold notes, “a modern and vibrant city needs.”

Renderings of the design are available in the form of a napkin on which Upfold has drawn a number of things.

And the vision doesn’t end with platform-level condominiums: the TTC is also floating a plan to turn the Sheppard line into a lazy river on summer weekends.

These plans will almost certainly cause controversy, but when Torontonians appreciate the live-work balance that can be achieved through setting up house on a subway platform, and the joys of a leisurely paddle through Leslie, they will soon stop mourning the loss of Chester. And Bessarion. And Old Mill. And Summerhill.

Comments

  • andrew97

    I hate today.

  • kidsantiago

    This is a stupid joke, but building high density housing above subway stations could make a lot of sense.

    • https://paul.kishimoto.name/ Paul Kishimoto

      It *does* make a lot of sense. MTR Corp. subsidizes its own transit operations with property management revenues.

  • http://www.delectablychic.com/ CynthiaC.M.

    Was the KFC thing at the end a Ford joke?? :P

  • Notcleverguy

    Bad April fools joke is bad.

  • DryDry

    I would have preferred a story about the exploding rat population living in the lower Bay Station that came up to the surface and dragged a poor old lady into a sewer and ate her and then built an Inukshuk in the middle of the Bay/Bloor intersection with her bones

    • Notcleverguy

      Bay Lower is a scary dirty place. I would have been half fooled with a story like that.

    • citizenontherun

      Perhaps next year “TTC reveals closer of lower bay station was due to mutant rats that spit acid.”

      • dsmithhfx
        • citizenontherun

          Well that was unexpected. What movie (I hope) is this?

          • dsmithhfx

            Mimic! The greatest story ever sold! (um, after Pet Semetary).

          • citizenontherun

            Interesting, I’ll have to give it a watch this weekend.

          • dsmithhfx

            Time well spent.

    • vampchick21

      Home of the Reverse Vampires!

  • omnibus

    Omg I got fooled for a minute! haha..

  • bobloblawbloblawblah

    I want a condo at Chester Station!

  • wklis

    Having a condo on the Old Mill Station platform would have a great view of the Humber River. Can I expand outside the glass walls to make it bigger. What do you mean its not real. What is it? Some April’s Fool gag or something?

    Never mind.

  • Astin44

    Not Summerhill! I use that to get to the big LCBO sometimes! Also, Old Mill I used once to go to a wedding at The Old Mill. I don’t think I’ve ever been past Main station though, so everything east of there can probably be closed.

  • mw

    How about working on having a functioning transit system in this city? These two fools are joking around, meanwhile I was half an hour late for work today because of “signal troubles”, or was it a “passenger assistance alarm”, or wait, “smoke at track level” . . .

    • vampchick21

      Because participating in April Fools day is an act of evil unmatched.

      • mw

        If the TTC wasn’t the absolute worse way to get around the city I’d be much more receptive.

        • vampchick21

          Because having a sense of humour is overrated.

          • mw

            It is when you are a mass transit system that sucks.

          • vampchick21

            We all have to suffer with it, but that should not trump allowing for a small laugh now and then. Take a deep breath and laugh a little.

            Or keep bitching on a local blog that’s not affliated with the TTC, whatever rocks your socks.

          • mw

            Fair enough, although you’re the one taking the time to respond repeatedly to me.

            I do bitch to them as well. But they don’t listen. Too busy planning April Fools jokes I guess.

          • vampchick21

            Because the lack of a sense of humour on a day dedicated to jokes, lame or otherwise, makes me a sad panda.

          • mw

            Pranks rather than jokes . . . but happy April Fools nonetheless.

          • dsmithhfx

            You could be worth millions, sat in a zoo.

        • nevilleross

          ‘Oh, woe is me, I was late because of the TTC’-change the channel, or leave earlier.

    • bobloblawbloblawblah

      “smoke at track level” — often happens when idiots throw garbage down on the tracks which can catch fire.

      “passenger assistance alarm” trains are halted when someone presses the yellow strip on the subway(often needlessly).

      Neither of these are the fault of TTC management. We all want better transit. Keep screaming so that the bloody politicians will hear and finally address the underfunding of and overcrowding on the TTC.

      • mw

        I’m way past the point of caring whose fault it is, and/or whether any of these “problems”, which happen constantly, are real or not. I simply don’t care. I want the delays to stop and the overcrowding to be fixed.

        • OgtheDim

          So the guy that got seriously ill on the train on Sunday and caused an hour delay on part of the YUS line is just something that needs to stop?

          • dsmithhfx

            It’s passengers that ruin transit for everyone else.

          • mw

            So the guy that got seriously ill on the train on Sunday and caused an hour delay on part of the YUS line is just something that needs to stop

            No, but taking an hour to get a sick person off a train and the system moving again during rush hour does need to stop.

          • vampchick21

            Think about the logistics for EMS to get to the person on the train who is sick or injured. Think about what they might need to do prior to removing said person off the train. Think. Just. Think.

          • mw

            If the person is sick enough that EMS has to get to them and get them off the train, I would sure as hell hope it happens in less than an hour.

          • vampchick21

            Here’s a life tip you should have absorbed many years ago dearheart. It ain’t all about you.

          • mw

            it’s all about the however many hundred thousand people who ride the TTC during rush hour everyday. And Christopher Hume too:

            “transit in Toronto is a disgrace; so are the people who run it.”

            http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2013/07/03/slow_and_unreliable_ttc_is_no_longer_the_better_way.html

            Our Canadian instinct to apologize for mediocrity apparently knows no bounds.

          • dsmithhfx

            Do you have a few billion in loose change down the back of your sofa? It sure would help!

          • mw

            I fully support tax increases, tolls, and increased user fees in order to improve transit in this City.

          • dsmithhfx

            Great! Problem solved!

          • vampchick21

            I highly doubt he’s referring to getting one’s knickers in knots when a person on the train is injured or sick requiring medical assistance.

          • Notcleverguy

            You don’t see enough people wearing knickers anymore.

          • OgtheDim

            Isn`t there some day of the year where people are encouraged to wear only underwear to work?

          • nevilleross

            Hume can kiss my hairy ballsack, and everybody else’s nether regions too.

          • OgtheDim

            It doesn’t.

            Download a book to your phone from the library.

            We all only got 24 hours and sometimes those hours are going to be doing something we don’t want to be doing.

          • mw

            “the guy that got seriously ill on the train on Sunday and caused an hour delay “.

            What caused the hour delay then?

          • dsmithhfx

            The union had a coffee break and a nap, then they went down to city hall to heckle the mayor. Or something.

        • nevilleross

          Then find another city to live in that has a perfect transit system, or get a transporter installed in your apartment/home. Either that, or accept the fact that things happen on the TTC, and (most of the time) it’s nobody’s fault.

  • https://paul.kishimoto.name/ Paul Kishimoto

    Exactly.

  • ei(pi)+1=0

    The other April Fools joke I heard was that the Eglinton LRT will be in the median from just west of the West Don to just west of Don Mills.
    They had me for a while, but then I realized how dumb it would be to go into the median for just 1km, and interfere with traffic when the south side is begging to be used to create a grade-separated link to a future DRL.
    It was a good joke though – and I am sure that many people actually believe that Metrolinx is stupid enough to built in the median through Leslie.

  • wklis

    That’s what the city could do at the location where they are NOT building stations with a Scarborough Subway extension.

  • Leslie Boyce

    If only they’d put as much effort into celebrating the subway’s 60th anniversary.