Rob and Doug host Jimmy Kimmel on their web turf and discuss campaigning, coming to Toronto, and drunken excuses.
It’s the show we’ve all been waiting for. It’s pretty much Game of Thrones and Veep and Mad Men put together. It’s Jimmy Kimmel on Ford Nation.
The late-night host promised Rob and Doug he would appear on their YouTube show, and America’s most high-profile Toronto City Hall obsessive has followed through on his pledge. Will this big get be a game changer in Toronto’s competitive mayoral election? No, because any eligible voter who watches this has already made up his or her mind.
But let’s see what they have to say anyway.
0:03: Rob welcomes us to Ford Nation, and says that they have a special guest for us today: Jimmy Kimmel. Rob then proceeds to read Kimmel’s biography, which one of his young staffers likely cribbed from Wikipedia in advance of the show.
0:29: And Kimmel is on the show via Google Hangout. He’s wearing the same outfit Rob wore on his Kimmel appearance—a black shirt with a shiny fire-engine-red tie—and he shows off two Rob Ford bobbleheads that he has. This would be a good moment to step back and reflect on the absurd fact that the crack-smoking, homophobic, racial-epithet-spewing, unrepentant mayor of Toronto is doing a Google Hangout with a late-night U.S. TV network host who is holding the politician’s bobbleheads. We have descended to the point where all of this not only has its own logic but also feels normal—and that’s troubling.
0:40: Kimmel says he looked it up on Ebay, and the bobbleheads sell for “something like $900.” Rob and Doug laugh, and use this as a segue to announce that there are more bobbleheads available for purchase. Proceeds from the sale of three of the four new kinds of bobbleheads (ranging in price from $30–$100) will fund his campaign, so caveat emptor.
1:06: Doug gets in a good line about Jimmy looking like a magician today—which echoes what Kimmel said about Rob during his late-night appearance in February. Kimmel says he admired Rob’s look, and he’s dressing that way regularly now. No word on whether he also regularly wears cowboy boots as the mayor does.
2:04: Doug asks Jimmy a question. “You know that the future of Jimmy Kimmel Live! relies on Rob Ford getting re-elected.” Jimmy nods solemnly. He understands the stakes. “So my question is: When are you going to get your backside up here to save your job and start door-knocking to make sure this guy keeps you going every single night?” This would mean Rob Ford’s campaign team would consist of Jimmy Kimmel, Doug Ford, Ben Johnson, and Sam from Trailer Park Boys. Add Frank D’Angelo, Kenny Hotz, and Kevin O’Leary, and there would be no stopping these guys.
2:11 Jimmy says he wants to throw a “funraiser” for Rob, and have fun with the mayor in classic Rob Ford style. Rob laughs. Really, Rob’s whole life is a funraiser.
3:05: Jimmy tells the story of the first episode of his show on ABC, when they gave the audience free beer. He says one person vomited and had to be carried out during the live show, which “did not impress the Disney executives.” Rob smirks and lifts his head back in an extended laugh. He likes this story.
3:23: Defending the episode, Jimmy says, “I was so drunk I don’t know what happened that night.” In a fit of knowing laughter, Rob adds, “I’ve used that excuse one too many times myself.”
3:35: Doug invites Kimmel to come to Toronto for TIFF, and Kimmel says that he would love to, but he’s having a baby around that time. Torontoist would like to extend our congratulations to the Jimmy Kimmel household.
3:45: Rob invites Kimmel to come to Toronto for Doug’s 50th birthday in November, which is around the time of Jimmy’s birthday. Jimmy accepts the invitation: “I would love to be the party clown,” says the jester to the fool.
4:35: Jimmy says that if he goes to Toronto, he wants to sleep in Rob’s bed with him and his wife. Rob and Doug laugh, and the Ward 2 councillor says that they’d better not comment. That is correct, Doug—you probably shouldn’t.
5:00: Doug tells Jimmy to bring “his driver” to Toronto, too, although he can’t remember his name. Rob chimes in that it’s Guillermo, and it is clear from Rob’s expression that he loves everything about Guillermo.
5:36: After a really awkward exchange of Google Hangout goodbyes, the show ends, and we all wonder what just happened.
Well, that was the YouTube show in which Jimmy Kimmel was Rob Ford’s guest. Mind you, it was mostly Doug and Jimmy doing the talking—Rob spoke for only 1:06 of the 5:36 show, and about half of that was the introduction. That said, it was an easygoing show, even though the laugh lines and Rob saying that he has used the drunken forgetfulness excuse too much were uncomfortable given the context. But watching Rob Ford speak to Jimmy Kimmel on YouTube, we’re supposed to suspend our disbelief and decontextualize as much as possible, lest we remember that this is real life.
Three out of five Guillermos.
Thanks for reading, and God bless you, Raccoon Nation.