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Televisualist: Crying All The Way To The Bank

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

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Is Michael Douglas too fabulous as Liberace? Trick question: there is no such thing.

Monday

For your Victoria Day viewing pleasure: it’s the Indiana Jones trilogy! Yes, we said “trilogy.” We don’t know of any Indiana Jones movies that have aliens or something in them. That would be crazy. (MovieTime, Raiders of the Lost Ark at 6:30 p.m., Temple of Doom at 9 p.m., Last Crusade at 11:30 p.m.)

The Goodwin Games is the new offering from the creators of How I Met Your Mother. It has a suitably wacky premise: adult siblings reunite when their father dies and leaves them a video will that sets out a contest to see who inherits his massive estate. It has a strong cast (Scott Foley, TJ Miller, Becki Newton, Beau Bridges) and a decent pedigree, and the pilot is fun. Worth a try. (City, 8:30 p.m.)

Celebrating both its season finale and its hundredth episode: Rules of Engagement. Somehow. (CBS, 8:30 p.m.)


Tuesday

Dancing With The Stars has its finale with a bunch of people you mostly won’t recognize as the remaining finalist stars and we would explain who they are—but really, if you don’t already know, it’s not gonna make you care. (CTV2, 9 p.m.)


Wednesday

MasterChef is back for another round of Slightly Nicer Gordon Ramsay And His Two Other Guys Who Do Cooking Stuff as they bring America’s finest amateur chefs into competition against one another. Hooray for slightly nicer! (CTV, 7 p.m.)


Thursday

Walking the fine line between “clever” and “annoying” is Save Me, a sitcom about Anne Heche having a near-death experience and then becoming a prophet of God. (Or maybe she just thinks she’s a prophet. The show is a bit vague about that, obviously on purpose.) (Global, 8 p.m.)

Walking the fine line between “evil” and “really evil” is Does Someone Have To Go?, a reality show that focuses on employees at a struggling company and has the employees decide who should be fired. We trust that one-line description will make clear how abysmally low Fox has sunk in its reality programming, and remember that this is the network that ran Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionaire and Temptation Island, so it’s not like they were exactly falling from grace when they made this show. (Global, 9 p.m.)

Rookie Blue returns for its fourth season of young cops learning as they go, although really, at four years into anything, “rookie” is not that applicable a term any more. But Relatively Experienced Blue doesn’t sing as a title, so. (Global, 10 p.m.)


Friday

The Simpsons rerun of the week: “Coming to Homerica,” wherein Homer forms a border patrol group to prevent desperate workers from Ogdenville from entering Springfield. “Men, our negative energy has been harnessed to help keep Springfield’s borders secure from Ogdenvillians. But first, our group needs a name that evokes America’s proud history of citizens rising up to defend our way of life.” “The Klan?” (CFMT, 6 p.m.)


The Weekend

Rowan Atkinson’s performance as Mr. Bean was strongly influenced by French comic actor Jacques Tati’s Mr. Hulot, who first appeared in Mr. Hulot’s Holiday in 1953. That film airs tonight. It mostly holds up, because there’s quite a bit of slapstick involved, and it’s not like this is on TV regularly, so give it a shot. (TVO, 9:40 p.m. Saturday)

Smash is cancelled, but tonight you can watch the last two episodes ever of what was once called “Glee for grownups” but was in fact “Glee for people with even lower standards than people who watch Glee.” (NBC, 9 p.m. Sunday)

HBO’s centerpiece original dramatic film for this summer is Steven Soderbergh’s Liberace biopic Behind the Candelabra, which (interestingly) premieres at Cannes in theatres before it begins its television run on HBO and therefore is technically eligible for the Oscars. The film itself is an interesting dramedy, with Michael Douglas playing Liberace very broadly (and of course getting all the best lines), and Matt Damon carrying most of the dramatic heft as Liberace’s boyfriend Scott Thorson. We’re not quite sure if we want to call it “great” yet—it merits a rewatch—but it’s definitely good. (HBO Canada, 9 p.m. Sunday)

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