Today Fri Sat
It is forecast to be Partly Cloudy at 10:00 PM EST on November 27, 2014
Partly Cloudy
0°/-2°
It is forecast to be Partly Cloudy at 10:00 PM EST on November 28, 2014
Partly Cloudy
-1°/-1°
It is forecast to be Chance of Snow at 10:00 PM EST on November 29, 2014
Chance of Snow
3°/4°

1 Comment

culture

Televisualist: Seth McFarlane Is The Man AND The Dog!

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

See, the bug represents the Academy, and the crying person represents the general public, and... okay, Brett did something in advance this week because he had to head out of town early and we just kind of winged it. Maybe pretend that this has something to do with "Swamp People," okay?

See, the bug represents the Academy, and the crying person represents the general public, and…okay, Brett did something in advance this week because he had to head out of town early and we just kind of winged it. Maybe pretend that this has something to do with “Swamp People,” okay?

Monday

The Simpsons rerun of the week: “Children of a Lesser Clod,” wherein Homer starts his own unlicensed daycare service. “He’s jumping out of the car, Kent! He’s trying to climb over the fence—now he’s realizing he’s too fat—he’s digging a hole like a dog! Now he’s given up on that, and he’s running back and forth. He’s climbing into a pipe, and he seems to be stuck. His legs are dangling in a comical fashion. Oh, it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen!” (Comedy Network, 8:30 p.m.)

The fourth season of Teen Mom 2 debuts tonight, so we’re not sure if that technically makes this Teen Mom 8, or if we need to start describing it as an exponent, or what. (MTV Canada, 10 p.m.)


Tuesday

If you needed more proof that we are all becoming so meta that “meta” is itself now meta, we present to you Cult: a television show that hopes to be a cult television show—as it’s on the CW and that’s basically all it can hope to be—which is about a cult television show where the fans of the show are also an actual cult and do culty things like kidnappings and murders and stuff. Featuring Robert Knepper (“T-Bag from Prison Break“) as the cult leader. This one is already meta as all get out, but it’s cheesy fun. (CTV2, 9 p.m.)

Body of Proof returns for a third season of Dana Delany solvin’ murders, and, truthfully, we don’t even remember ever discussing the second season. Did it ever even happen? We honestly thought this show got cancelled. Perhaps we’ve accidentally side-traveled into an alternate universe where Body of Proof is the biggest hit on television? SOMEBODY TELL US WHO THE PRESIDENT IS! (City, 10 p.m.)


Wednesday

Returning to the History Channel for another ahistorical season: Swamp People. (9 p.m.)

Bobby’s Dinner Battle is the Food Network’s latest attempt to make us all believe that Bobby Flay is a bonafide television personality we all love, rather than a talented chef who is also a charismaless boob in search of a catchphrase so he can be the next Emeril Lagasse—never mind that Emeril peaked about a decade ago and now is happy to do cameos on Top Chef. This time around, Bobby judges amateur teams of cooks who make dinner parties for Bobby and his guests, and who will all be more interesting than him because a slab of raw fish is more telegenic than Bobby Flay. (9 p.m.)


Thursday

American Greed is a show about con men, airing on CNBC. We will, at this time, allow you a moment to pause and mourn the death of irony. (10 p.m.)


Friday

CSI: NY airs its final episode of the season, and although at this time it may still be renewed for a tenth season, given its numbers and the expense of making the show (Gary Sinise ain’t cheap, folks!) it’s probably breathing its last. So enjoy it while you can. Assuming you enjoy CSI-type shows. (CTV, 8 p.m.)


The Weekend

Hey, it’s the Oscars! Hosted by Seth McFarlane, who may just possibly do a number of silly voices and then sing a song Sinatra-style. This year’s awards seem to be up in the air—earlier in the movie awards season it looked like Lincoln and Les Miserables were the major contenders, but then Argo reeled off an improbable series of wins and now looks like it could walk home with a bunch of statues. This race is officially too close to call—unless, of course, you are a witch. (CTV, red carpet begins at 8 p.m. Sunday, ceremony at 8:30 p.m.)

In case you don’t want to watch glitzy glamorous movie stars, TSN has you covered. It has counter-programmed against the Oscars with the 2013 Scotties Tournament of Hearts Final, because it’s probably not possible to better counter-program against the Oscars than by airing women’s curling. Curling fans will watch curling over anything. (7 p.m. Sunday)

Comments