Today Wed Thu
It is forecast to be Partly Cloudy at 11:00 PM EDT on September 16, 2014
Partly Cloudy
18°/10°
It is forecast to be Clear at 11:00 PM EDT on September 17, 2014
Clear
18°/11°
It is forecast to be Partly Cloudy at 11:00 PM EDT on September 18, 2014
Partly Cloudy
13°/8°

news

Newsstand: December 27, 2012

Happy back-to-work day, everyone! In the news: yesterday was a good Boxing Day, today is an unfortunate snow day; the City doesn't like people living in laneways; and food banks fall short on donations.

As per tradition, thousands of people packed into malls across the city yesterday to wait in line for hours to spend cash on junk they don’t need. And while some might reel in disgust at Boxing Day, we must remember its true purpose: to remind us that Christmas still isn’t completely as bad as it gets in terms of materialistic holidays. Also, if you’re one of the people that nabbed the good deals at Oliver Spencer before we could get there, don’t ever speak to us again.

Hope you weren’t planning on flying out of town over the next day or so, as many flights at Pearson Airport are being cancelled in response to all that snow that’s been a blowin’ outside.

With Toronto constantly trying to squeeze as many people as it can into its various nooks, crannies, and behemoth skyscrapers, it’s a little surprising more people aren’t building houses in the city’s various laneways. Surprising, that is, until you realize the City really doesn’t want people there. But that isn’t stopping some folks from turning Toronto’s various alleyways into surprisingly expensive housing options.

If you do decide to leave home and wade into the snow today, you might want to consider taking a donation for the food bank with you. The Daily Bread Food Bank says it’s falling short of its target for food donations this year. And let’s face it, with pizza just a phone call away, you probably weren’t going to cook those lentils anyway.

It’s probably dumb luck that the annual period of holiday good news stories coincides with the annual period of City Hall being on vacation (as well as the annual period of our lowered blood pressure), but either way, here’s one: a budding Regent Park entrepreneur is the first in the neighbourhood to get a microloan, which will turn her scrumptious-sounding cooking into a business. So congratulations, Paulina Tshuma. We can’t wait to try your culinary creations before they take off, new people are hired, Yelp finds out about them, the line snakes around the corner, rapid expansion leads to a drop in quality, Toronto Life finds out about them, a city councillor complains about the noise your restaurant makes at night, new locations appear in other cities provoking more Toronto elitism, and so on, until finally, several years later, we stumble upon them during a less-than-proud moment, scarf them back and tell ourselves you still make the best damn beer chicken in town.

Comments