Today Sun Mon
It is forecast to be Partly Cloudy at 10:00 PM EST on December 20, 2014
Partly Cloudy
0°/-1°
It is forecast to be Partly Cloudy at 10:00 PM EST on December 21, 2014
Partly Cloudy
1°/-2°
It is forecast to be Mostly Cloudy at 10:00 PM EST on December 22, 2014
Mostly Cloudy
4°/1°

culture

Televisualist: Hopefully Our Last Chance to Make Mitt Romney Jokes

Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.

It's over! It's finally over! (Unless the results are disputed by either side, in which case it will not be over for weeks or months. But what are the odds of that happening?)

Monday

With the three dozen preliminary rounds finally done with, The Voice, current titleholder of “most convoluted singing show on TV,” finally progresses to live eliminations, in which the public finally gets to vote on who they will eliminate, as opposed to letting the judges pick forever. In any event, now each judge has a final team of five, with Blake Shelton and Adam Levine—the two who clearly have the most interest in coaching for its own sake, and also the two who clearly enjoy being on the show the most—having exceptional teams, while Cee Lo Green has his team of “unconventional” types and Christina Aguilera advances with a team composed of one brilliant singer (De’Borah) and four distaff Christina Aguilera wannabes who are not that good. Fun! (CTV2, 8 p.m.)

Franklin and Bash something season finale something nobody cares. (Bravo, 9 p.m.)


Tuesday

So tonight is the American election and basically this is what you are probably watching tonight if you are watching anything. Will the MITTROM 7.0 (and counting) finally achieve its ultimate achievement and become President of the United States, or will Barack Obama’s message of “look, politics ain’t magic, and competent and relatively honest government is as good as it gets” resound with the American public? We do not know, because despite the fact that Obama is leading in just about every poll everywhere, even in Cat Fanciers Monthly (“Which candidate do you think would be better at cat-sitting?” —Obama 90/Romney 7/Ron Paul 3), as media we have to confront the possibility that every poll on the planet is wildly biased in favour of Obama and in fact Romney’s charisma and lovable nature may triumph. American politics: it’s like watching a reality show except it really matters. (CBS and NBC start coverage at 7, CBC Newsworld, PBS, Fox and ABC start at 8, with CNN basically doing election stuff all day.)

If you are apolitical, you can watch the Raptors get pounded by the Oklahoma City Thunder. Er, we mean “compete against the Thunder.” Because the ending of this game is totally not known to us yet. Really. (TSN, 8 p.m.)

If you’re apolitical and you don’t like sports, maybe you can give Bering Sea Gold: Under the Ice a try: this is your typical “Discovery Channel docu-reality show about people doing a crazy dangerous job” show, in this case portraying the lives of Bering Sea underwater miners. This sort of show is usually entertaining, so…why not. (10 p.m.)


Wednesday

The X-Factor is down to 12 finalists, and judging by the viewership numbers we bet you cannot name any of them. (“Simon Cowell” doesn’t count.) (CTV, 8 p.m.)

Ice Pilots NWT returns for another season of pretending it should be on History Television. (10 p.m.)


Thursday

The Simpsons rerun of the week: “The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson,” which doesn’t get aired that often in the USA anymore because it includes a Twin Towers joke (and when it does, the Twin Towers joke is often edited out). “They stick all of the jerks in Tower One!” (Comedy Network, 8:30 p.m.)

Flipping Out is back for a sixth season of pretending that it is still 2005 when professional house-flipping was a relevant thing that happened all the time and we did not live in the housing market from hell. Brought to you by Slice, the network that in many respects is still stuck in 2005. (9 p.m.)


Friday

As previously mentioned here, CTS now syndicates The West Wing on a daily basis, and tonight’s episode, “The Indians in the Lobby,” is a particular favorite because the titular characters handle the many layers of their roles so well and Allison Janney’s work with them is just splendid. Also, you get the infamous “President Bartlet calls the Butterball Hotline” sequence, which we will watch any time. “I do radio commercials for…products.” (8 p.m.)


The Weekend

Celebrating its 200th episode, Family Guy presents an hour-long special about Brian and Stewie travelling backward through time, because the show’s only chance at entertaining people for years has been to focus on Brian and Stewie (and meta-comedy about how the rest of the show kind of blows) and at least they recognize that. (Global, 9 p.m. Sunday)

In Sixty returns for a second season of documentaries about musicians who need promotion but are concerned that simply doing a new special about how great their new album is would appear crass and counter to their preferred image, so instead of just advertising they’ll get deep about how the lyrics mean so much to them. Kicking off this season: No Doubt, whose comeback album is really important to them, in fact it’s like their child, and that’s just how it is whether you buy the album or you don’t, maaaaaaan. (MuchMoreMusic, 10 p.m. Sunday)

Comments