In this week's Declassified, we plumb the scary depths of second-hand retail.
Is this what Craigslist’s “free” section has come to? People giving away items they couldn’t even trick their cats into liking?
Covenant House is a downtown homeless shelter. It’s not clear whether this message is a threat or some kind of romantic overture, but either way, given the context, it seems pretty menacing. I picture Robin Williams in a red jumpsuit, all alone and trembling in a room full of men who have fallen on hard times, one of whom wants to toss and cut up Mork’s “salad.” But Mork is an alien from the planet Ork, so he doesn’t understand what’s meant by “salad.” Smiling, he offers up a head of lettuce. And then he gets stabbed in the shoulder with a shank made out of a balled-up sock and a tuna can.
If she isn’t a lawyer, that probably means she was on trial for some kind of small-claims crime, man! Do you really want to be dating someone who’s capable of breaking the law in some kind of tiny way? What if she gets mad at you and keys a small portion of your car?
The most disturbing part about this ad is the fact that, in the photos, the penis extender’s package (excuse the pun) is clearly Scotch-taped closed. This is a used dick stretcher. It is $300.
Well here, at least, is a piece of personal equipment that someone might conceivably want to buy used.