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Newsstand: December 5, 2011

It's the first Monday in December...Hurray? Before you face the cold grey morning, why not warm up with a spot of the day's news: The UFC could be coming to a school near you, Nestlé gets all NIMBY on the west-end, the YRT strike continues with a little friction, sad news for Canadian roller derby fans, and good news for one Toronto senior who likes to get rid of pesky leaves in the most dangerous way possible.

By • Illustrations by Brian McLachlan

“Hard” balls may be too hardcore for Toronto schools, but the Ultimate Fighting Championship is just the right fit? According to a report from the Toronto Star, city councillor Doug Ford’s (Ward 2, Etobicoke North) office is circulating a brochure to members of the Toronto District School Board promoting an initiative called UFC Community Works that, through mixed martial arts training and meetings with UFC fighters, is meant to teach “discipline, respect, teamwork, honesty, time management and physical fitness.” Yes. UFC. The very same sport that until recently was banned in Ontario and involves bloody knockouts and oxygen-depriving choke holds. Seems a little far-fetched…so is it true? The Star contacted councillor Ford’s office for commentary, but, well, you know (though as it happens, the Fords do talk to other outlets, and um, yeah, it’s true).

Think living near a chocolate factory has the whimsical quality of a Roald Dahl book? Well, Nestlé doesn’t, and the chocolate giant would ask you to keep your Charlie Bucket-like dreams far, far away from their west-end plant thankyouverymuch. A major developer is proposing to build a mixed-use residential development next to the chocolate factory on Sterling Road, which could include new live-work townhomes, office towers with urban agriculture rooftops, a public square, and a revitalization of the heritage Tower Automotive building. Local residents are on board with the plans, but Nestlé has expressed concerns about building residential units so close to its plant, citing issues of noise, trucking, and smells that could become a source of friction down the road. Oompa Loompas do have a reputation for being a bit loud, all the singing and all, so you really can’t blame Nestlé for trying to protect Torontonians from those little dudes.

Hey, GTA commuters, are you sick of the YRT strike yet? If the seven-week strike hasn’t yet gotten under your skin, today might be the day when you finally lose your cool as striking transit workers are preventing GO buses from entering Richmond Hill Centre with a large demonstration. When buses enter Richmond Hill Centre, riders are being told to walk—about 300 metres—to the nearest stop on Yonge Street. Oh well, at least it’s a nice day for a stroll, right?

Sometimes our great city is one that crushes hopes and dreams. This weekend, it was Team Canada’s turn to have its spirits dashed as the US roller derby team knocked them out of the running to take home the gold in the sport’s inaugural world cup held right here in the Big Smoke. On the bright side, Canada racked up more points against Team USA than any other team in the tournament. Which sounds pretty awesome…until you read the final score: 336-33.

On a happier note, a Toronto octogenarian has survived a fall over the Scarborough Bluffs with just cuts and bruises. Eighty-nine-year-old Gene St. Marie was trying to dispose of leaves at his home at the foot of Birchmount Road when he took a 30-metre tumble down the bluffs. Think that’s lucky? It’s the second time this very thing has happened! Next time, Mr. St. Marie, just bag ‘em. They allow that sort of thing now.

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Comments

  • Sara Cee

    Mixed martial arts is a wonderful sport that teaches discipline, hard work and respect of self and of opponents. It conditions the body and the mind and is not about violence or destruction. It’s as valid as any other sport and if it is something that kids will enjoy and are interested in, keep them off the streets, and allow them to grow in self esteem and confidence, its a great idea.

    • Anonymous

      It’s like bear-baiting or dog fighting, only with subhumans.

      • Postpomo

        except the subhumans are there voluntarily. and they don’t kill each other. and the majority of fighters in the UFC have university degrees. and other things that make your silly comment look sillier.

        • Anonymous

          Lots of things do all that, but without the part where you’re trying to inflict physical injury on someone.

          • Postpomo

            destruction? that’s on the side of hyperbole. Self-defense is well worth learning for everyone. it’s the best proof against bullying.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Stemmler/644800361 Robert Stemmler

            Except that the UFC isn’t about self-defense. Want to bring in some martial arts that is about self-defense? Sure, let’s support that. UFC isn’t it.

          • Anonymous

            I didn’t bring up the “destruction” part – Sara Cee did when saying MMA is a good thing.

    • Joel Phillips

      Mixed martial arts … is not about violence

      Wow, I thought, perhaps all my preconceptions about cage fighting are wrong. So I went to the news section of Canada’s top MMA website. And in the first article, found:

      Fraser came out walked through a couple punches, pinned Reddinger to the cage and slammed him down in his patented slam. He then worked a little ground and pound to open up Reddinger for the rear naked choke win midway through the first round

      Ah, the old non-violent ground and pound.

      Incidentally, the fourth article reveals this gem:

      All but one fighter weighed in properly except for yes, Mr. Michael Bisping who went on a swearing spree telling the fans to go F*ck themselves

      He sounds like he has great self-esteem.

      • Postpomo

        your confusing practicing a sport with the spectacle of professional athletes – you don’t have to punch anyone in the face to train…

        • Anonymous

          who will be paying for the serious injuries that WILL come out of this? Can the city afford the law suits?

        • Joel Phillips

          No. You are confusing training with sport.

          I was responding to the OP, which described MMA as a “wonderful sport”.

          Now, maybe I’m wrong – I’ve never seen an amateur fight and maybe it’s more akin to table tennis than to it’s professional cousin (do they use head guards? Is the point that punching someone in the head when they’re wearing a headguard is substantially less violent?), but that seems unlikely. Based on every other sport out there, one would expect that the only real difference would be one of competency (and crowd size and pay packet).

    • Anonymous

      Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

  • Anonymous

    I’ll concede to Nestle on the industrial noise and machinery points, but chocolate factories smell fantastic. Living near one is wonderful when the wind catches that beautiful aroma.

    • http://twitter.com/natekelly Nathan Kelly

      Agreed. I don’t think I’d mind. It smells like dreams over there. But maybe you’d get sick of it?

      • Anonymous

        I lived next to Cadbury for just over a year, and I miss the smell (now I live closer to the gelatin factory on Lansdowne).

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Stemmler/644800361 Robert Stemmler

          My experience from the Nestles plant in Fulton, NY is that it smells wonderful until someone burns some chocolate. Then it smells nasty for a few days. I imagine it’s those few days that have Nestles concerned.

  • Anonymous

    Lingerie football. NFL. Amusement parks. Mega malls. MMA in schools. What’s with Doug Ford’s desire to turn Toronto into an Midwestern American city?

    Doug if you find Toronto lacking in things that turn you on. Move to Columbus, Ohio. I’m sure you’ll love it there.

    UFC’s community works is just another pro sports franchise marketing gimmick to keep interest in the sport alive and growing. If we can hook them early, we can hook them for life. Works for pro hockey, basketball and Football.

    The problem with MMA is that the sole purpose of the sport not to score a goal, basket or touchdown, it’s to hit your opponent, tactfully and hard. There will be injuries.

    It would be an interesting exercise to track the grade level performance of students that participate in MMA. There is plenty of proof that hits to the head in youth under the age of 20, can have serious effect on there cognitive abilities. While I suspect hits to the head are discouraged, they will and do happen. There will be lawsuits.

  • http://twitter.com/MarkJull Mark Jull

    Perhaps we can ‘risk the hypothesis’ that this UFC thing is a distraction. Distraction from the budget meetings that are happening *right now* and will most likely result in cuts to, among other things, homeless shelters, libraries, arts grants, snow clearing, street cleaning…..

  • Anonymous

    Good idea Doug, let’s start training kids in more effective ways to swarm and beat people on the sidewalk.

    Anyone who thinks this program will attract the skinny, depressed outsiders and turn them into confident, fit, out-going community leaders has no idea what they’re talking about. MMA in the classroom will make better bullies and hallway fights will end with broken arms instead of bruises.