By Kelli Korducki

A lot of people do a lot of weird stuff on the internet, and ground zero for commercial e-weirdness is Craigslist. In Declassified, Torontoist combs over our city’s listings to find the best (and worst) of the bunch.

Illustration by Roxanne Ignatius/Torontoist.

In this very special edition of Declassified: wannabe potheads and curious demands. Also, a teddy bear.

While we at Torontoist would certainly never endorse or partake in the consumption of illicit substances, we have it on good authority that placing a want ad for THC is probably not the most effective method of securing a dealer. Perhaps this fellow might have better luck inquiring within his friend groups, canvassing student hangouts, or, in a pinch, hitting a local drum circle. At least, this is what we are told.

Remember that old adage, “one can never have too many goblins”? That was Aristotle, right?

Nothing says Cannibal Holocaust like a California roll.

This is clearly a dweeb-on-dweeb pickup attempt. Points for earnestness, though.

Stupidly, we clicked on the Google Map for this address under the delusion that Happy Valley Road might be somewhere in the east end. (Thanks to reader Cara Goldberg for the tip!)

A 20-year-old with sleeping problems wants their teddy bear back, and we find ourselves oddly moved by their boldness. Keep your eyes peeled, Toronto: that bear is out there.