By Patrick Metzger

Illustration by Matt Daley/Torontoist.

Celebrate the upcoming weekend by knowing that John Tory is out, Doug Ford is in, and Black won’t be back anytime soon.

Just in case you missed it, John Tory has officially confirmed that he will not be running for mayor. Which means that there’s a very good chance that Rob Ford could be the next mayor of Toronto. Rob Ford. Mayor of Toronto. Let that percolate for a while.
In other news out of Fordland, Ford’s campaign manager and brother Doug will officially announce his candidacy for Ward 2 (Etobicoke) at a family barbeque tonight. If both Fords win, we could be looking at our own home-grown political dynasty, sort of an anti–Jack and Bobby Kennedy destined to spend the next four years giving press conferences about reduced thumbtack use at city hall.
Conrad “Call me Lord” Black has dropped his request to return to Canada while his conviction on fraud charges is being appealed in the US. Black has declined to provide a more comprehensive report on his financial situation, which had been made a precondition for the court allowing him to leave the continental United States. That means Black won’t be able to reapply for permission to visit the country that spawned him until at least September 20, and he won’t be hob-nobbing with Brangelina at the Toronto International Film Festival.
A feel-good ending to yesterday’s story about the ten-year-old boy with muscular dystrophy whose special wheelchair was broken by Air Canada baggage handlers. Spurred on by angry tweets from an indignant nerdosphere, Air Canada not only managed to get a largely repaired chair back to Tanner Bawn yesterday, but as an apology will send the boy and some family members on a trip to Disney World. Click through to the story for the picture alone; this kid is inspiring.
Some more insight into the mysterious police raids at some Queen’s Park ministries back in July. The OPP have revealed allegations that Ontario government employees received some $400,000 in cash and gifts from an unnamed carpet-cleaning company, possibly in return for revealing competitive bids and turning a blind eye to fake invoices. Who knew carpet-cleaning was so lucrative or so mobbed-up?
OPP say that the number of charges laid under the distracted driving law dropped from 778 in May to 496 in June, indicating either that drivers are getting the message about the law or police are losing interest in enforcing it. In other news…oh, crap, I think I just missed my exit.
Apparently major US TV networks have been holding auditions for reality TV shows in Toronto this week, which itself isn’t surprising, since we’ve got our share of talentless, belligerent, attention-seeking loudmouths. What is puzzling is the statement that “ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX are holding auditions for visible minority Canadians to better reflect the American mosaic.” Yep, if you want to make something look more American, hire a Canadian.
And a young Burlington woman, Ashley Anne Kirilow, has confessed to pretending to have cancer, and taking thousands of dollars in donations for cancer research.