Illustration by Clayton Hanmer/Torontoist.
It took a global, coordinated manhunt, but supercops at the Integrated National Security Enforcement Team have collared a suspected
terrorist gardener from rural Ontario who purchased almost a tonne of fertilizer, which he intended to use in a premeditated bombing “gardening incident.” In hindsight, this may look like an overreaction by an unwieldy conglomerate of law enforcement agencies that’s been given an enormous budget and a blurry mandate, but try to see it their way: the man was reportedly “enigmatic” and “European,” with missing fingers, a limp, an accent, and—judging by RCMP sketches—three interchangeable faces, and, come on, not even Keyser Söze raises that many red flags.
The company that holds a monopoly on food vending along Toronto’s eastern beaches can take it easy for a while, since City Council voted yesterday to stick with its controversial twenty-year extension of the vendor’s lease. Tuggs Inc. operates the Boardwalk Pub and a number of other waterfront food outlets in city-owned buildings. The unusual privilege could set an ugly precedent, said Councillor Doug Holyday (Ward 3, Etobicoke-Centre). And that’s all well and good to say, except that if the city changes course now, they can expect to get sued. The Foulidis family, who own Tuggs, say they invested a lot of money improving the buildings and deserve to hold on to them.
Listen, Sears, we’ll wear your shirts, dammit, but that doesn’t mean we work for you. Everybody knows that Toronto invented the idea of living green. We even copyrighted the phrase “Live Green,” so that nobody could ever steal our idea, which is ours and ours alone. So when Lawson Oates, head of the city’s environmental office, heard that Sears had shamelessly lifted both words of our taxpayer-funded branding brainchild, you can bet he blew a LEED Gold–certified gasket. But will Sears do the right thing, choose another colour, and tell people to live by it? No, not only are they still flaunting the ill-gotten phrase, but if Oates keeps it up, the retailer might have two more words for him.
Now brace yourself for the latest on the Kyle Rae retirement party scandal. In case you missed Newsstand on Tuesday, the story is that Rae, who is leaving office shortly, held a public bash earlier this week instead of publishing his usual summer newsletter. Rob Ford, the councillor for Ward 2, Etobicoke North, called on Rae to pay back all the money from his office budget spent on the party, and then demanded the retiring councillor’s resignation. To which Rae responded, “Who cares what Rob Ford thinks?”