Hey, did ya hear the one about the saplings—you know, baby trees?—being removed from around the G20 security perimeter, for fear they could be used by protesters as weapons? The Integrated Security Unit would like you to please stop laughing at this very moment, because that is exactly what’s actually happening. (OpenFile’s since dubbed it a “Treepocalypse.”)

Then again, after we asked our Twitter followers this morning what their plans would have been for the baby trees, we can see why the sinister saplings were swiftly snatched from Toronto streets. The pithy trees’ potential potency in the hands of protesters knows no bounds. See some of what we’re grateful the government is protecting us from, below.