Please Insert Station and Try Again
The Art of Not Knowing
If You Tweet It, He Will Come
Edgewater Hotel Sign Comes Down
The Daily Photoist: November 20, 2009
Like chomping through a thick skull to get at the chewy, unlife-giving braaains inside, you gotta work for the good stuff. Let's see what you did with your weekend, Toronto. Well, for starters, it looks like somebody decided to keep candy out of the mouths of Rosie DiManno's niece and nephew, and now she is foaming at the mouth has written one of her columns, heaping snack-size helpings of whoopass (marked not for individual resale) onto the kid-hating "money bag brigade" of Bridle Path, who wouldn't even send one butler to hand out goodies to the kids, or her, or the Star photographer out taking pictures of the expedition. Hey, at least no one put a razor blade in there. Besides, fair's fair, Rosie: You clearly waived your right to a treat when you agreed to the "trick-or-" part of the deal. Verbal contract.
Seriously, though, Halloween is like triple swine flu for your soul, to quote the Vatican more-or-less verbatim, so say three quick Hail-Marys and burn all the Caramilks—they're witches!
Now that the Good Book has been shut on Halloween, the only zombie left in town is a certain not-quite-dead newspaper we may have mentioned once or twice these past few days. We thought our coverage was fairly restrained, sedate, even. Imagine our surprise upon learning that we and everyone else who thought the daily was in trouble is just a plain old Conrad-Black-bashing knee-jerk capital-L Liberal who probably hates Israel. Ahh, the Post, promise you'll never leave us!
If by some chance the paper, which suffered a nine-million-dollar loss—sorry, a "single-digit" loss—last year, does go under, they can auction off a few of their distribution boxes to the Ontario-themed bar in Williamsburg, to put next to the jukebox full of Neil Young and Rush albums.
Anyway, maybe our kids will be better with money. For them, Ontario is rolling out a grade four financial literacy curriculum to get to the root of those "reckless personal spending habits that helped trigger the global credit crunch." Er, not sure you've quite pinned down the cause of the economic collapse, there, guys. Not that teaching the next generation of Ontarians to budget responsibly is a bad idea, but...could we maybe send AIG and Goldman Sachs to these classes, too? And can our creative project be about mortgage securitization and credit default swaps? There'll be puppets, too.
Health officials are hoping that getting more vaccination sites up and running will reduce lineups for H1N1 shots, which Ottawa admitted were in much greater demand than had been anticipated. And, when someone gets some free time, Health Canada is totally going to look into the case of the private downtown clinic whose well-heeled patients get to cut in the line for the vaccine. C'mon, now. Would Jesus have done that?
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Quick correction: The article originally stated that the children were DiManno's, but she's actually their aunt. You know, the one everyone has that smells like a combination of cigarettes and crazy. Anyway: fixed.
I could only get about a third of the way through Rosie's article before the combination of eccentric word choices (Bay Street boffos? Are we saying that now?) and meaningless subject overwhelmed me.
Isn't this what the 'letters to the editor' section exists for? Her columns are the journalistic equivalent of huffing glue - briefly enjoyable in that "permanent physical damage is better than boredom" kind of way.
Um . . . , wouldn't there be a lot of Asian and East Indians living on the Bridle Path? If they're not
Christian, the evening would have no meaning to them any more than Purim to a Christian.
Either that or they just know they'll be swamped by greedy grabby types like DiManno and co. They're the types who are out for as much as they can get rather than the fun of visiting door to door and showing off their costumes. Anyway, the owners are probably too busy and the butlers don't care about the tykes.
I can't imagine why anyone (who wasn't planning on using your relatives as pawns for a column "exposing" exactly the results she expected) would take their kids trick-or-treating along the Bridle Path. The houses are gated, set back from the road, and relatively spaced out. There is poor street lighting, sidewalks on only one side of the road, and nowhere to park. Duh.
Cabbagetown is where it's at when it comes to candy density.
Why would anyone go trick-or-treating outside their own neighbourhood? Is Rosie DiManno as dumb as a bag of hammers?
Yes, she is that dumb and she loves to pander to her
readers. How low can she go? Stay tuned.
I wonder where kids from the Bridle Path go trick-or-treating? Or do they just stay home and roll around in huge underground vaults full of candy like Scrooge McDuck?
"grade four financial literacy curriculum..."
"grade four financial..."
"grade four"
When I was in grade four, the only thing I knew about money is that it doesn't grow on trees. "But paper is made from trees, and money is printed on paper. Therefore, money is made from trees!"
Yeah, anyway, teaching economics to 10 year olds sounds like a waste, no matter how hard they try to keep their attention. Save it for high-school, when kids start getting part-time jobs.
Hammers have a lot of uses!
Re: DiManno's rant---does she get paid for foisting this almost incoherent effluent upon the unsuspecting (or perhaps all-too-suspecting) readership?
And what was the point, other than ranting against a group of people who have more than she ever will?
What was her first clue that it would be a fruitless evening? The fact that there were no other goblins out candy hunting in that area? And why use her neice and nephew as pawns in her game.
But the big question, to me, is why did it take 90 minutes for her to figure it out?