By Lori Dance

Well, apparently Tim Trow’s plans to hoard puppies with the intent of unleashing an army of furry minions upon an unsuspecting world have backfired: he’s (finally) facing charges of animal cruelty (along with four others). Some of the more awesome allegations against him are that he used donations earmarked for the care of puppies and kittens to fund legal action against former employees who tried to call him out on his evil ways and that animals were hidden from view in advance of a June 2 inspection. The Globe reports that “Mr. Trow, Mr. McCracken, Mr. Betchel and Mr. Bernadino were all charged with cruelty to animals, conspiracy to commit an indictable offence, and obstruction of a peace officer. Dr. Sheridan was charged with conspiracy to commit an indictable offence and cruelty to animals. All five men were expected to be released on bail Thursday night.” And they ran a photo of Trow in handcuffs! Hope they forget to change his litter.
Did you hear all the hubbub yesterday about the TTC finally releasing its suicide statistics? And how it ended up being the Sun that prompted the release of this information? And how the Sun is all evil and stuff for forcing the TTC to release it? And, since it’s out anyway, let’s all run the stats in our own newspapers? Well, the Sun has responded to said outrage by running an editor’s note that explains “our initial motivation in making the request was based on concerns expressed to us by TTC drivers that the commission was doing little, or certainly not enough, to stop what they viewed as a needless death toll,” and that “a full and public examination of the commission’s response to subway suicides is needed.” Hmm. That’s kind of…tasteful and diplomatic. Is it, like, bizarro week or something?
Apparently, some people in Toronto are idiots. Honestly, who texts while driving? Thousands, according to police who have issued warnings to motorists (since they can’t issue tickets for breaking the law until February). The CBC reports that “studies suggest a driver with a cellphone in hand is four times more likely to crash, especially while texting or dialling.” Seriously. Some of you can’t even handle changing stations on the radio…don’t put our lives in danger because you need to LOL. You’re just not that multi-talented. /rant
And finally, in case you can’t get enough of hearing about that deer who got tranqued and tased downtown earlier this week, you can now relive it in all its 8-bit glory…wait, what? Yes, someone made a Flash game about it. But we’re sure you’ll be too busy at work today to check it out, of course. Happy Friday!