By Lori Dance

Just to prove that we here at Torontoist don’t entirely believe that the universe revolves around Toronto (it’s true—we looked it up!), we shift our focus from our fair city to the heavens for this paragraph (and this paragraph only): in case you haven’t noticed, it’s almost the end of World Space Week. To celebrate, NASA’s going to bomb the moon. Wait, what? Indeed, a missile fired at twice the speed of a bullet will hit our nighttime friend tomorrow morning, its impact being televised for all to see at approximately 6:15 a.m. The intention of this mission is far from sinister—they’re looking for water—but who the hell cares? Bombs? Space? Yes, please! (However, if you’re tuning in and the man in the moon gets shot in the eye, you’re likely watching an earlier broadcast.)
If you’ve taken the TTC airport shuttle recently (because you’re one of the lucky few whose flight hasn’t been delayed until 2015 when we’ll be getting a light-rail link to Pearson) and noticed that the ride is taking longer than usual, it’s because the drivers are total rebels who don’t take no advice from no one, man. Instead of driving their designated route from Kipling Station along Highway 427, they’ve been taking a renegade detour through residential streets since September 26 with neither the knowledge nor consent of Adam Giambrone. What’s worse is that the desperadoes at the wheel of the 192 Airport Rocket (or, as we like to now call it, The Badass Express) are using “safety concerns” as an excuse to tack on an extra fifteen minutes to your ride. Really? Fifteen minutes? You hooligans should be locked up.
In case you haven’t heard yet (it’s all over the news like white on, well, you know), Ho Lee Chow has closed its doors. Holy… um… er… ah, never mind. Dude. It’s called Google. Look up another MSG-free restaurant.
And, finally, get ready to scramble: Yonge and Bloor is the next intersection to implement diagonal crossing! When? Tomorrow! What makes this one different from the others? Unlike the first scramble and Yonge and Dundas, there won’t be people in orange vests to show you where the hell you’re supposed to go! Don’t know what this means but excited enough by the use of multiple exclamation marks to want to read some expansive coverage on its history and impact on our lives? It’s all cool, babies—we’ve got your back.