By Lori Dance

The world’s cutest mayor is embroiled in as controversial a scandal as an eighty-eight-year-old politician can be (without things getting too sexy all up in here, that is). Ward 6 Councillor Carolyn Parrish, who has been gunning for the mayor of Mississauga with a zeal that has only been matched by last night’s episode of The Office (oh, that Dwight), claims that Mayor McCallion committed a gross conflict of interest by not disclosing her son’s involvement in a land deal in a council meeting. “Hurricane” Hazel, on the other hand, is defending her position and welcoming all who challenge her to the contrary. Ever wanted to kick a grandma? Neither have we. Way to boost the old popularity ratings there, Carolyn!
Hazel isn’t the only cutie pie under fire—Adam Giambrone is feeling the heat and, this time, it has nothing to do with the TTC. Or does it…? The Ward 18 councillor has come up with a proposal that would eliminate seventy-one parking spaces along Dundas Street West between Dovercourt and Sterling and add various car-stymieing rules such as no stopping/standing/left turns along the route in an effort to improve traffic flow.
Despite the fact that this stretch of Dundas West is barely navigable as it is (especially at Lansdowne!), many owners of area businesses (including an organic supermarket) feel that the idea of people having to actually walk to their destination over the eleven blocks this plan will affect is simply absurd. Oddly enough, the idea that this move is just a ploy to get more people to ride the Rocket and infuse the cash-strapped transit system with much-needed funds has not yet been brought up but, now that it’s out there on the Internet, you can say that you heard it here first, folks.
Speaking of councillors, ours acted decidedly incorruptibly last night by refusing to accept Cadillac Fairview’s offer to build a multi-million-dollar community centre in exchange for getting their way in a Don Mills development deal. Councillor Maria Augimeri says that her fellow councillors were impervious to “the bait…the bribe as others called,” while Cadillac-Fairview lawyer Jeff Davies lamented the fact that there were “No more negotiations…it’s a dark day.” Okay—why is it that, whenever someone tries to come off as being altruistic with the phrase “it’s a dark day,” it brings to mind the image of their twirling an imaginary moustache and leaving the room with a cape-fuelled flourish?
Finally, we’ll leave you with some good news: Toronto’s parks, forestry, and recreation division has received around three million dollars in donations so far this year, a record amount, to address the almost one-billion-dollar backlog of repairs needed to update the city’s 1,500 parks and more than 350 recreation facilities. It may be getting chilly, but at least you’ll have some fine swimming and dog-walking options to look forward to next year. Stay sunny, kids!