By Lori Dance

The province appointed a new supervisor for the Toronto Catholic District School Board after everyone took their toys and went home instead of playing nicely (read: resigned instead of attending a rogue meeting) yesterday. In response to the recent change, new RC Board Supervisor Richard Alway says, “A lot of the heavy lifting has been done.” That had better not have been a fat joke, Rick—apparently the board is not known for their maturity.
City council is set to remove the “old” from “Old Cabbagetown” this fall, and the area’s BIA is insulted that people aren’t all up in arms about the decision. Well, it’s not as though the powers-that-be are forcing us all to use definite articles or plurals in our titles or anything (The Cabbagetowns? Well, I never!).
Speaking of names that don’t include “the,” Toronto FC hopes to win four of their eight remaining games in order to secure a spot in the playoffs despite their dismal road record. Really, though, if you’re going to get your ass handed to you on super-expensive grass at home, a call to Rudy might be in order.
A broken culvert in Scarborough is wreaking mass environmental havoc and forcing area residents to choose new footpath options for their dogs. Leslie Ferenc, staff reporter for the Star, has left a message with the parks department “and hope[s] to hear back soon.” Consider our breaths held.
And just in time for Gene Simmons’s sixtieth birthday today, the papers are a-blazin’ with news that Oshawa won’t be getting the KISS concert they were originally promised (perhaps Chaim was having a senior moment when he told fans it was for real and for true). Every time you see the term “KISS-off” in the resulting headlines, you have to take a shot—hope you’re not doing anything today.