By Lori Dance

The National Post has cornered the market on transportation-related stories this morning: whilst Buttonville Airport is poised to close after Ottawa withdrew funding and Ontario is balking at a one-and-a-half-million-dollar bailout, the TTC is looking into the feasibility of a relief subway line downtown and earmarking more than six million dollars to make their washrooms less incredibly disgusting. “It seems to me you can renovate ten washrooms for a lot less,” opined Councillor Karen Stintz. Someone’s obviously never been to the ladies’ at Bloor Station during rush hour.
The Toronto Star, however, is more interested in politics: two Ontario private schools (one religious) are set to receive millions from the provincial government to make their yards prettier, an all-party review of the eHealth scandal is one step closer after an emergency meeting, and—just when you thought you’d never hear about it again—not only will Torontonians have to wait to find out when/if they’ll receive a rebate cheque from the recent city strike, but they might instead find a bill in their mailbox for the resulting cleanup. Ah, city strike: like an ex who sends flowers on your birthday a year after you kicked him out of your apartment, your persistence is endearing.
The Globe and Mail, on the other hand, has chosen a more eclectic route: Ontario schools appear to flout the convention that good education is confined to good neighbourhoods, tomato farmers are blaming their obscene markup of field heirloom tomato prices on crappy weather, and Howard Moscoe is getting all Don Quixote on the city’s ass again (only instead of windmills, he’s fighting illegitimate clothing drop-off boxes).
Oddly enough, the Toronto Sun is covering all that may cause the fuzzy-wuzzies: a Dutch woman left thirty thousand dollars in her will to Toronto police dogs, a father-and-son duo are being hailed as heroes after saving an old lady from a fire, and a group of volunteers is interested in long walks on the beach and other people’s butts (go on, click on the story—it’s not about unwiped bums).
Oh, and Tie Domi is going to perform the delicate art of ice dancing on reality television. Mental image of the day? You’re welcome.
Finally, AM640 is all about the hot, cheap action: you can get into the CNE today for just $1.75! Mayor David Miller will be there to kick off the festivities at 10 a.m. At least one Newsstand author is swooning in anticipation.