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Vintage Toronto Ads: The Leaning Tower of CN

20090728cntowerbending.jpg
Source: 1987 Toronto Blue Jays Scorebook Magazine.

Little-known fact: during the construction of the SkyDome, so many people stared down at the rising stadium from the CN Tower that the landmark occasionally came to life, with binoculars in hand, to see what all the fuss was about. Reports of the tower leaning over at a precarious angle were written off as mass hallucinations or proof of too much partying.
But what if the tower leaned over too far while observing its surroundings? Back in the late 1990s, Toronto Life‘s Urban Decoder playfully imagined what would happen if the structure toppled over:

The CN Tower, we are assured, is a most stable structure. So to contemplate such a question…let’s say a large, aggressive, radioactive lizard were to rise up out of the harbour and find this most famous of landmarks not to her liking. A good push north would result in some extensive renovations to the Metro Convention Centre and CBC headquarters…If tipped to the northeast, the patrons of Roy Thomson Hall would suffer a greater disturbance than the usual coughing and whispering…A good shove to the south would create a convenient footbridge across the Gardiner, though depending on the angle, it might just nick the corner of York Quay Centre. A tumble to the west would close SkyDome for good; thereafter, the rubble would merely be a small impediment to further development of the railway lands east of Spadina. If kicked over to the east, the damage would extend as far as York Street; eastbound train services from Union Station would be unaffected, but commuters from Oakville might experience delays…This is all idle speculation, of course. The obvious target of a sauropod of delicate aesthetic sensibilities would be the condos on the waterfront.

Additional material from Urban Decoder: Secrets from the Dark Underbelly of the Mega-City! (Toronto: Macmillan Canada, 1998).

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  • http://undefined montauk

    There is no way someone at Toronto Life wrote that.

  • http://undefined spacejack

    I can remember seeing a poster-size novelty map with a cartoon rendering of the downtown, highlighting the area of potential destruction should the tower fall down. Probably from the early 1980s.

  • Jamie Bradburn

    I admit that I cut out one or two late 1990s-centric jokes from the original source. For example, if the tower fell north, it “would solve the infighting for prime office space among the newly amalgamated megacouncillors by flattening the former Metro Hall.”

  • rek

    As a person with height-o-phobia, I had no problem with the tower’s glass floors until I looked inward to the tower itself. The way it swoops out at the bottom immediately made me feel like the whole thing was falling over.