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Film Friday: I Did Not Hit Her, I Did Not—Oh, Hi Readers

Imagine if Tommy Wiseau was a giant guinea pig. It really wouldn't make The Room any weirder
Are you sick about being told to watch The Room, yet? If you’d personally known us across the last few years—and you still hadn’t seen it—you would be. An almost personal crusade of Torontoist is to show it to as many people as possible (heck, we even asked Edgar Wright about it, just to be sure), there is no film ranked higher in our esteem as just a real good time (other than possibly Commando), and the only thing that surprises us about there finally being a big screen showing for the film tonight at the Royal is honestly that we didn’t set it up (congratulations to the other local fans who did).
Of course, a cinema showing is kind of an unusual thought. There are a lot of known rituals to perform if you’re watching The Room in a cinema, and to someone who has never seen it that way there’s the worry that feeling cued to chuck spoons at the screen takes away from the stark beauty of Tommy Wiseau’s work; indeed, there’s the sense that we might just be annoyed by the rest of the audience. If there’s anything we’d like to say it’s that if you’re new to The Room or a die-hard fan already, let’s make Toronto’s showings their own—throw away the “rulebook“; take part how you see fit. As Wiseau says, in all situations, “You can laugh, you can cry, you can express yourself, but please don’t hurt each other.”
Admittedly, there are other films to be seen this week. There’s G-Force, the latest children’s film to feature talking animals; this time it’s guinea pigs (be prepared to watch local news stories about a rush on buying them as pets), and this time the talking animals sure like to handle guns. More interesting is the (heavily advertised) Orphan. It looks entirely stupid, and it’s likely never going to live up to the glory of the still-chilling The Bad Seed, but Eye‘s Adam Nayman calls it “a bad-taste classic in waiting,” which is alluring.
And on release is the first film from Jennifer Lynch since, well, bad-taste classic Boxing Helena, Surveillance. It’s completely kicked to bits by NOW‘s Norm Wilner. “A decade and a half after [Boxing Helena], she still doesn’t have the slightest idea how to make a movie.”
Also out this week: two different music docs with Rocksteady: The Roots of Reggae and Soul Power; bland-looking rom-com The Ugly Truth; a new Agnès Varda doc, The Beaches of Agnes; comedy The Girl From Monaco; and the hard-to-summarize Humpday, which features two straight men deciding to have sex with each other to prove how straight they are. Or something.

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  • http://undefined Luciano Galasso

    I’ve never seen The Room but friends of mine are going to check it out tonight. After reading this post I think I’ll go with them. I read up on it, seems like something I’d like
    –Luciano Galasso

  • http://undefined Paul D

    Whether you’re interested in it or not, google “What’s the Twist in Orphan”. The answer will make your day.

  • http://undefined MariaPD

    I googled it. Didn’t get it. I mean I read some stuff, but it didn’t “make my day”. Also, some of them were those sites that say you have a virus and start running something weird. Was that the idea?

  • http://undefined nib

    i watched the room on your recommendation. and boy do i NOT regret doing that!
    i knew nothing about it other than “best worst film ever made.”
    everyone who hasn’t seen it: go see it!

  • http://undefined ked

    I’ve seen The Room about 12 times and it gets “better” with every watch.
    As for Orphan I want to see it all the more now that I know the twist.

  • http://www.torontoist.com David Topping

    Honestly, The Room is great, but I’ve found it so totally, relentlessly exhausting after the first time (I’ve seen it twice I think now, the last time at the Comedy Bar, which is the first public screening I know if in Toronto). It’s one of the most draining movies I’ve ever seen, right up with, I don’t know, Rachel Getting Married or something.

  • http://undefined montauk

    I’m torrenting The Room and hope I “get” it.

  • http://undefined nib

    there really isn’t anything to get. it’s just about basking in the film’s terrible-ness.

  • http://undefined montauk

    I just skimmed over it and there seems to be a lot of violin music in the background. It looks like a run-of-the-mill soap opera.

  • http://undefined ked

    I keep meaning to buy the soundtrack
    ‘you are my rose you are my rooooose…’

  • http://undefined montauk

    Yep. It was pretty much fucking amazing. I always thought my attention span for ironic meta-humour was five or six minutes, max, but this was cringe-riveting (my new verb, created just for this film) right to the end credits. Oh hi Lisa!
    Thank you Torontoist for, as usual, enriching me culturally.