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Each week, Torontoist examines the upcoming TV listings and makes note of programs that are entertaining, informative, and of quality. Or, alternately, none of those. The result: Televisualist.
Monday
Triple Sensation, the CBC's competitive reality show for actor/singer/dancers trying to make it big in the musical theatre scene, returns for a second season. This time around, one would think Garth Drabinsky would not be involved—you know, what with the felonies and the guilt and all that—but according to all of the CBC's press materials, he's still one of the judges. Really, CBC? Really? We understand not being able to find, say, another famous Canadian actress who hasn't headed south other than Cynthia Dale. But you couldn't find another producer who wanted a paycheque for being on TV? It's not like Drabinsky is particularly telegenic. (8 p.m.)
Local television alert: the Harry Jerome Awards, Canada's annual national awards dinner for the Canadian black community, are on tonight. Did you know Harry Jerome held the world record for the 100m sprint three times and was the first man to get the 100m down to an even ten seconds? Well, now you do, because we like to use this column to teach as well as entertain. Suck on that, Historicist!
Tuesday
Now that the CBC's renewed Being Erica for a second season, maybe you'd like to actually watch it? The premiere episode reruns tonight. We're not going to pretend that it is the most perfect of television shows, but it sure doesn't suck. (9 p.m.)
America's Got Talent returns for yet another season's worth of plate-juggling, magicians, modern-day vaudeville acts and so forth. As a TV critic talking about the Talent franchise of shows, I am now unfortunately required to mention Susan Boyle fifteen times. Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle. No, seriously, they send a guy after me if I don't do that. He has a baseball bat with a nail through it. (NBC, 9 p.m.)
ABC premieres The Superstars, which is kind of like Dancing With The Stars except with sports instead of dancing. The "celebrities" this time around include Dan Cortese, AKA Burger King's "Dan Dan The Whopper Man" from the 1990s, and Ali Landry, AKA "the Doritos Girl" from about ten years ago. Meanwhile, those boring non-celebrity sports people are just nobodies like Terrell Owens, Brandi Chastain, and Jeff Kent, who obviously could not sell a Whopper if their lives depended on it. (8 p.m.)
Wednesday
Last week, in an unrelated column, I suggested that Canadian celebrities come back to Canada when their American careers die off and that Neve Campbell will be back "any day now." Well, I am going to eat my crow because Ms. Campbell appears in The Philanthropist, a new TV series that stars Marc Antony from Rome as a billionaire who uses his money to "change the lives of others." So Neve Campbell isn't going to be back anytime soon, Canada! You'll have to wait at least another six months! (Global, 10 p.m.)
More America's Got Talent. Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle, Susan Boyle. (NBC, 9 p.m.)
ABC hosts a news special where average Americans, not prescreened by the White House, get to ask the president about health care. Whatever you might think about Barack Obama, you must admit it is a relief to not have a president of the United States who, in such a situation, might panic and just answer every question with "cheese." (A-Channel, 10 p.m.)
Thursday
The Game, David Fincher's first movie post-Se7en, is challenging and intense and really quite underrated compared to his other work, maybe because the plot is more conventional as compared to his other movies. (Well, maybe not Alien 3.) Well worth a watch. (AMC, 8 p.m.)
The Simpsons rerun of the week: "Grade School Confidential," where Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel begin secretly dating. "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!" (CFMT, 7:30 p.m.)
Friday
Doing Da Vinci sounds like really freaky porn but has proven in fact to be a pretty entertaining series about engineers trying to build the more fantastic of Da Vinci's sketched-out inventions, hitting most of the same notes as MythBusters does and being about as fun (even minus Adam and Jamie). Tonight, they build a giant goddamned catapult. How can you not want to watch that? (Discovery, 8 p.m.)
V For Vendetta enraged some nerds back in 2006 for the usual reasons: it was too faithful, it wasn't faithful enough, Alan Moore refuses to endorse it, Alan Moore is a crazy person, et cetera. But now that we can look back? It's a pretty solid adaptation. Not genius. Just solid. (Teletoon, 9:30 p.m.)
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Re: Susan Boyle . . . I am so sorry you feel it is unfortunate that you have to mention her name. Millions of us worldwide love her voice and love her and can't wait to buy her CD of show tunes to be release in time for Christmas 2009. Watch out for that guy with the baseball bat with the nail in it! He may just get you anyway.
JoMike - I agree - SB has a magnificent and most distinctive voice. So long as her health holds out (I think she is finding this new-found stardom and some of the sleazy press she receives from the no-bodies of journalism terribly unnerving), she'll do exceedingly well. I sure do hope she prevails cuz she really does have the goods!
hahaha...so you think it's unfortunate requirement for you to say Susan Boyle 15 times? Lucky you! My body requires me to think of her 24 hours a day against my will! What has this woman done to me? Has she some kind of magic spell? Whatever she has, I think she is a wonderful singer. I love you Susan Boyle, 24 hours a day!
just write susan boyle one time and you will get attention. i wish you would keep daily updates on her performances- i have to depend on fan sites when they are able to receive updates. I try to check different places daily and i am glad that she has been making her tour performances and seems to be getting used to the stage and at ease with the audience- i love to see her interact with the audience. she has a beautiful voice and a sweet personality.and she shows a leg but piers show a body and a flame- "show" business!
There are hundreds - yes maybe even thousands of her fans worldwide that wish there was more than just her name written. We search and search for articles and pictures and wonder just when the media will realize that we are a HUGE audience and begin to cater to our needs and they are simply - MORE of Susan....
dear boylebots.
your obsession with this woman hinges fundamentally on the apparently earth-shattering revelation that a woman who doesn't look or behave in conventionally attractive ways can have basic singing talent. it's like being blown away by Obama because you never thought a person of colour could be so articulate; i.e., your amazement coasts on prejudiced expectations of human ability. we can blame the initial double-take on the televised contest genre for using "undesirables" as laugh-track slapstick whipping boys, but you alone are responsible for the insidious implications of your fervor. this unwarranted fanaticism is drunk on the redemptive power of bestowing Joe Underdog with their fifteen minutes of novelty. we love having our shallowness simultaneously bitch-slapped and affirmed. it's a symptom of our pathologically sadomasochistic relationship with pop culture and while I don't begrudge you it, you might consider that what looks like genuine musical appreciation steeped in chicken soup for the soul to you might look to others like a bunch of desperate hollowed-shell tv-watchers jumping up and down squealing "look! look! she thinks she's people!" whether the hook in one's fangirlery is classical beauty or a lack thereof, we're all just clinging to the entrails, clinging to the entrails.