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Our Love Is Like A Red Red Rosie

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20090529dimannoneighbour.jpg
Photo of an ambivalent duplex on Palmerston Avenue by moon angel from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.


Good fences make good neighbours; Rosie DiManno, not so much.
On May 18, our favourite Star columnist devoted six hundred words to the “noisy, juddering” sex that her female neighbour—the “sex screecher”—has. The article is exactly as good of a read as you’d expect. (“Some cheek-by-jowl neighbours, their right to peaceful enjoyment of domicile infringed, are not so roll-with-the-thrusts sanguine.” That sort of thing.) The column ended with DiManno hoping that her “neighbour subscribes to the Star and reads this.” Her neighbour didn’t, but her neighbour’s parents did.
On Wednesday morning, a woman named Caroline phoned into the Edge 102′s Dean Blundell Show, and outed herself as the subject of the article, which she’d realized after her panicked parents called her to double-check just which journalist she lived next door to. While the hosts tried to read DiManno’s article—one describing the writing as being “for Mensa people on crack”—the screecher defended her love life. “You know what?” she said, “I just really enjoy sex, and whatever…that’s not my problem.” (The audio of the call is just below.)

For the woman’s trouble, the Dean Blundell Show awarded her movie passes to Land of the Lost and tickets to Warped Tour and Edge Fest, surely small consolation for Caroline, whose boyfriend, she explained, is now “too freaked out to have sex” at her place. We don’t exactly blame him.
Thanks to reader Michael Paris for the tip and the audio.

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  • http://undefined sloanbuller

    So help me if I didn’t think of you, Torontoist, when I heard that phone call yesterday. I wondered how long it would take to show up.

  • http://undefined Svend

    I guess Dimanno thinks everyone likes being exposed in public. I remember when she wrote about driving a cart around a golf course with Blatchford while they were both drunk and topless.

  • http://undefined toronto_llb

    I think I just threw up in my mouth.

  • http://undefined Cathoo

    First time I laughed at the Dean Blundell show in YEARS.

  • http://undefined carolyncity

    thanks everyone. i’m glad i got revenge on my sleep deprived neighbour. and i’m glad that there were laughs to be had.

  • http://undefined Svend

    Thumbs up to you and your guy!
    Turn it up a notch for us next time, Carolyn.

  • http://undefined Christopher Merlot

    I agree–keep it up and perhaps she’ll move eventually…to a lighthouse somewhere.

  • http://www.blog.canoe.ca/canoedossier David Newland

    Far be it from me to defend DiManno’s writing, let alone the outing of a sexually active neighbour in the pages of a major paper.
    Still, Topping’s continued poking at DiManno verges on the obsessive. Admit it man: her writing turns you on. It’s the only reasonable explanation for your continued fascination.
    Perhaps in an effort to sidle a little closer, you’re beginning to use phrases worthy of the kind of writing you pretend to decry: “The article is exactly as good of a read as you’d expect” was presumably repurposed from your very first book report.
    Meanwhile you’ve referred to the photo of a duplex home that illustrates the article as “ambivalent,” meaning what, exactly?
    Sigh. Now you’ve got me doing it.

  • http://undefined atomeyes99

    DiManno only writes about the issues.
    I guess here issues now include:
    -not getting laid enough
    -not getting laid well enough to be vocal
    -you not properly maintaining your front lawn
    -her wanting to show you her move, the DiManno a Manno