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We're all sick of "torture porn" by now—and just as sick of using the phrase—so the new remake of The Last House on the Left shouldn't even be worth mentioning as an "also playing…" in this column. Except we saw the trailer and—as much as we hate to say this—we were captivated.
Why? Well it featured Fuck Buttons' superb track "Sweet Love for Planet Earth" as backing. We're well aware of music's power to make things seem better than they are but we like the song so much we went temporarily mad and thought for a minute or two that this remake might be quite good—after all, the original version of Last House on the Left is (pretty much) Ingmar Bergman's The Virgin Spring…
Of course, we've yet to see anyone claim anything other than the film is terrible, with NOW's Andrew Dowler especially damning, calling it a "safe-as-milk time-waster."
There's another remake this week too, Race To Witch Mountain, which gains a million points from us just for featuring the incredibly likable Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. It's received middling reviews, but at least it "sits well in the traditional Disney oeuvre" according to The Star's Greg Quill.
Our pick of the week? Well, conceivably it should be Gomorrah, the reputedly excellent story of the crime syndicate that rules Naples, but we didn't manage to catch that at TIFF. Instead our pick is 24 City (pictured above), playing as part of Cinematheque Ontario (starting tonight at 7 p.m.) along with Jia Zhang-ke's latest short, Cry Me A River. We called 24 City a "truly beautiful film, [that uses] the documentary format to paint truths from fiction vividly."
Also out this week: RiP: A Remix Manifesto and Crossing Over, while the Canadian Music Week Film Festival and U of T Film Festival continue, and this week's Wright Stuff screenings at the Bloor are famous Monkees trip-out Head (on Saturday) and a double feature of Busby Berkley's Dames and Brian De Palma's Phantom of the Paradise (on Sunday).
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Has anyone ever explained the reasoning behind the article written about movies that the author hasn't seen most of?
Err, isn't that just a soft rock cover of Sweet Child o Mine?
I like horror films, but the original Last House on the Left is one of the few movies that really makes you feel dirty for watching it.
The beginning of the trailer is Fuck Buttons, then it segues into a soft rock cover of Sweet Child of Mine.
oops.
ok, please please please tell me that you were just kidding when you described dwayne 'the rock' johnson as "incredibly likable". seriously?
It was probably his star turn in the documentary "Operation Filmmaker" that did it. He comes across as such a genuinely nice person it's hard not to find him likable since.
Didn't you ever see "The Rundown"??
The Rock has come along way man, I'm not a wrestling fan, but Dwayne Johnson has set himself up good.
Very likable, especially if you are around young chidlren, his movie's can be pretty funny to watch with kids.
He was hilarious a week ago on SNL, the Hawaiian skit was too much and the cake was The Rock Obama, comedy gold I tell's ya.
I'm not a fan of wrestling or his movies so far, but The Rock has always come across as charming in interviews and on talk shows, and he was a good sport on SNL recently.
I'm going to see Pontypool tomorrow, I can't wait!
Pontypool: 4/5 stars
In case you want to know, Rek, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was pretty awful. Since we're sharing reviews. It was really pretty awful.
I like The Rock but worried that he may be stepping on Brendan Fraser territory with the 'adventure dad' stuff.
Brendan Fraser's territory is Fighting CGI Monsters, so he's safe from Dwayne but it means he and Will Smith will someday have to go Highlander on each other.
Can't decide if I would pay to see that.