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28 Comments

news

“Women: stop ignoring and mistreating young men.”


The culprit behind the printed posters above—spotted around downtown late last week, many of them now gone—is as of yet unclear, but if we had to hazard a guess we’d say that it’s a young man, aged 18–23, who is often met with rejection, rudeness and indifference, especially in places intended for meeting the opposite sex such as clubs, bars and online dating sites; who is unable to find a girlfriend; and who has a very very strange idea about what “mistreated” means.

Comments

  • Pan Von Sol

    I fail to see how not having a girlfriend between the ages of 18-23 is a bad thing. I wish I’d been single during those years…

  • http://null Gloria

    I wish everyone would make an effort not to make such ridiculous sweeping statements.

  • http://undefined OhYouKnow

    I wish everyone would make an effort TO make such ridiculous sweeping statements… and then post them up around town for our amusement.

  • http://null AussiWilliam

    Not that I am in anyway an expert about Women’s issues. But I am a male part of this demographic with a girlfriend, who has enjoyed women’s studies courses, feminist theory, and recently participated with friends in recognition of International Women’s Day (yesterday March 8th). Although this person’s facts are spotty, the message or the medium is effective at least, as it is simple and direct. I would say, since noticing loneliness amongst friends and siblings is not difficult, that either a man or woman or a mixed group could be responsible for the poster. Yet no one should be advising women how to behave towards the opposite sex, especially in places mentioned, where men are often particularly aggressive and ill-mannered, and in some cases much worse. It’s no wonder some women are mindful in this regard.
    Nonetheless, I believe even this poster can be positive as it could inspire some women to be more mindful about their own behaviour, personal interactions, and tact, considering the mainstream modes of communication such as texting and online messaging are characterized for the most part by brief, distanced exchanges. Just don’t expect it to happen in places of superficial or pretentious interaction. Thanks for reading!

  • http://zucket.com sass

    Thanks! Gee, wanna be my new boyfriend? Maybe we could meet in da club.

  • http://null dowlingm

    I imagine quite a few Torontonians publicly scoffing at this letter to their friends while privately agreeing with the spirit – not all of them male either.
    “Yet no one should be advising women how to behave towards the opposite sex”
    I’m not a believer in a free pass for anybody. There’s obviously a world of a difference but women have their relative part to play in making this world a less stressful place.
    I wonder how many wackos and psychos got their start from their teenage/college years. Hope this guy has sufficiently vented with a bit of postering.

  • http://null Svend

    The font he chose can’t hide his insecurities, yet tell us he would be a strong, considerate and faithful lover.

  • http://undefined Gloria

    I wonder where the men are in this too (besides being mistreated). After all, younger women aren’t simply dating older men; they’re being dated right back.
    Keeping this in mind, I hope that this poster will also inspire men (ages 24 and older) to realize the pain they’re causing and to stop dating younger women.
    Wake up, men who date younger women. You may be enjoying a fruitful and equal relationship; you may be tapping some hot tail. But what you don’t realize is that you are collaborating in the mistreatment of younger men, every day. Show some brotherhood. Leave these ladies to your youthful brethren.

  • http://undefined Gloria

    I think that’s Calibri (the default font from Microsoft Office 2007), so I guess it depends.
    If you’re a Mac girl, it could be doomed.

  • http://undefined andrew

    The title “women” should be left justified. That it isn’t betrays the fine choice of the bold heading “a few ways…” and the force justification of the body text. It’s so close to being a really nice simple layout that works, and yet it misses by one small but inescapable error.

  • http://www.guesswork.ca Patrick Metzger

    Say, David, aren’t you a member of the male 18-23 demographic?

  • http://undefined montauk

    Can’t the men from 18-23 just date younger women? This strikes me as bad math.
    Anyway, I can’t speak for other women, but I personally make a concerted effort to be more distant, cool and detached with men in a social environment, just to avoid the guy taking my friendliness as a signal of my romantic or sexual availability. I’d rather not do this, but I don’t want my noncommittally friendly approach to make a misconceived celebratory “ding!” go off in the guy’s head, and that’s an experience I’ve had all too often in the past. I feel like I’m just floating around normally, a free agent, and if I’m friendly to the wrong guy I’ll be placed on his invisible mental pipeline of “progress towards sexual relationship”. That’s an expectation I’m not ready to commit to after five minutes of shouting at each other over the music.
    Of course, this guy is saying that heterosexual women should practice some kind of affirmative action with the men they date, which strikes me as extremely creepy. Like “The female gender owes me sex.” There is no right to my hyena.
    And Calibri is not winning him any points but I would probably make out with someone who hates FF Dax like I do.

  • http://null canuck1975

    David, thanks for heeding my Twitter advice and posting this. Heh.
    I saw this last week on a lamp-post downtown, and the first thought through my head was “how sad.” I have a feeling the guy who is posting this around town has extremely low self-esteem and this is one of his ways of lashing out.
    My second thought was “too bad you’re not gay; you’d have no problem finding an older man if you were.”

  • http://undefined Skippy the Magical Racegoat

    The existence of this sign is bound to change the way men and women interact with each other. I’d bet money on it.

  • http://matureprstudent.wordpress.com Bons Mots

    This has to be a joke. If not, this poster completely explains why this boy is single. He’s an idiot.
    (BTW – Women don’t date men who use run-on sentences. The first paragraph could’ve used some breaks. Just saying.)

  • http://null dimitrifan

    That is one of the most pathetic posters I have ever read. It is sad in a way. Perhaps it is defeatist men like him that show up for meetings like these: http://www.torontorealmen.com

  • David Topping

    (Worth mentioning that the kind of men that “Toronto Real Men” produces are guys like this and this and this and this, which is not exactly an alumni list to be proud of.)

  • http://null dimitrifan

    I was JUST about to post some of those links. Thanks David!

  • http://null leftist

    I’m going to call bullshit on most of you and declare this art.

  • http://matureprstudent.wordpress.com Bons Mots

    I would like to clarify that my remark about the run-on sentence was directed at the guy who wrote the poster, not the author of this post. At least he used some dashes and a semi-colon.

  • http://null Gauldar

    Maybe this is written by one of Demitri the Lover’s illegitimate sons.

  • http://null Svend

    The government should step in and make sure at least 40% of men 18-23 have a girlfriend. If this level can’t be attained, financial compensation should be made – out of the purse of female taxpayers, of course.

  • http://null NitricJerk

    You’re all missing the obvious solution. He should be dating more experienced, more mature women instead. (ie, “Cougar”)
    Then, in 10 years, he can start tapping the young stuff.

  • http://null izziboo

    As a 23 year old female, I’ve dated guys younger most of my college years. And I wish I hadn’t. They are lazy, selfish, completely unsure of what they want out of life, and unwilling to work for anything in a relationship.
    That’s probably why most ladies my age like to date older men, something I intend to do from now on.

  • http://null BTCUSTY

    Normally I would call this guy a loser but its really just sad. DUDE if youre reading this please take some advice that I wish I knew when I was young. As sexist or misogynistic this may sound MOST women out there still want a guy to come along and sweep them off their feet. It is in their nature, especially in the bar environment, to wait for someone to approach them in a bar. One of the most important thing women look for when first meeting a guy is confidence. You gotta walk in there with the confidence that she will say yes but at the same time, dont take it too seriously. This is why older men appeal to the women you were referring to because they display the confidence of being able to interact naturally with women, making it seem like its not a huge deal. Another way to show ur confidence with women: cracking a few jokes is a must (especially the ones where u make fun of urself, those seem to be a big hit) and if you think shes hot, just come right out and SAY IT! I hope i could be of service to you friend, in short remember: DONT BE A BITCH!

  • Anonymous

    Awesome. That women need such educations says a lot… unfortunately the truth is sometimes hard to believe. Anyway – I think this is an awesome initiative

  • Udolipixie

    His poster is mistreatment.

    He’s essentially insisting that women talk & engage men they aren’t interested in, date men in ages they aren’t attracted to, and are obligated to make sure men have the ability to find a gf.

    1. Women don’t usually make an effort to talk to men.
    Women do make an effort to talk to men they are interested in.

    So is he insisting that women make an effort to talk to men because men want to talk to them?

    2. Men meeting rejection especially in social areas
    Women don’t reject or are indifferent to men they are interested in.
    Especially in social areas because most want to socialize with people they are interested in.

    So is he insisting that women that women not reject men or be indifferent to men simply because the man wants to socialize with her?

    3. Women rejecting younger men
    For some people age is a factor in attraction. Plenty of men don’t date older/much older women.
    So is he insisting women date men they aren’t attracted to simply because these men don’t have a gf?

    4. Women ensuring men have the opportunities to meet & talk to women
    No one is obligated to ensure that you have the means or opportunities to meet a partner.

  • gavbo101

    I think that this young man is expressing an opinion, perhaps not in the most intelligent way, that is validly frustrated by things he sees in the media and in interactions with women, as well as the rhetoric we hear from many feminists/women’s organizations.

    The emphasis on the well-being of women is fine until you start to achieve an imbalance of attention that takes away from legitimate health, education, sex, legal and other social issues concerning men. I believe that right now we are hurting men because we are focusing all of our attention on women, and indeed it is unfair.

    Young men have a right to be angry about this. We just don’t know how to express this correctly because we’re told to shut up so often. You can’t ignore it forever though, especially when there are so many men that are growing up angry and frustrated at the lack of support and understanding.