By Mathew Kumar

Okay, so you know by now that we often come to our conclusions on the films that we mention in this column after only watching the trailer, but I don’t think anyone is going to argue with us when we say that The International has quite easily the most boring trailer ever. There’s some kind of conspiracy involving a corrupt bank, and Clive Owen and Naomi Watts have to solve it before you fall asleep! No local reviewers seem to claim that the film is anything other than as boring as the trailer makes it look, with NOW‘s Barrett Hooper agreeing that the director seems “barely interested in keeping us awake.”
Still, at least it’s topical—corrupt banks and that sort of thing—as is Confessions of a Shopaholic (sort of) with its tale of a debt-ridden girl something something blah blah. Looks just like another success for intelligence-insulting cinema for women—ladies, if you don’t get your rocks off thinking about weddings, think about shopping—although Isla Fisher has been fun in the films we’ve seen her in. It’s also another one of those films that claims that if you’re based in New York and of the female persuasion the only job you’re allowed to have is something aspirationally media-related (in this case, a journalist).
The other big studio release relies on the idea that simply because it’s Friday the 13th you’ll go and see a film of the same name. It also relies on the idea that you’re still excited by reboots of horror franchises and weren’t (as in our case) pushed over the edge entirely by the truly tragic remake of Halloween by Rob Zombie (the only horror film that we can believe would inspire real violence, set on by temporarily insanity caused by watching such a horrible film). Eye‘s Adam Nayman says it “doesn’t amount to much, but it’s not appalling … merely unpretentiously tacky.” But how were the breasts?
Then there’s Under The Sea 3D. After watching Coraline in 3-D and finding it quite dizzying we could almost consider it a good thing that this film is a mere forty minutes long, but then again—forty minutes? That’s really all? Jim Slotek at the Sun opines “Younger children will be engrossed. Older ones may get bored.”
Also out this week, killer whale doc Saving Luna and Katrina doc Trouble The Water (mentioned in our Urban Planner, as was Ozflix), and film festivals include the Caribbean Tales Youth Film Festival and Toronto Romanian Film Festival.
Finally, we have a contest! Been a while, eh? The Yonge and Dundas AMC will be showing all five best picture Oscar nominees on one day—Saturday, Febuary 21. So that’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Reader, and Slumdog Millionaire in one day (there will be some breaks!). We have one double pass to give away to the reader who sends us an email to contests@torontoist.com with their name and address and the best explanation of why they think watching all five best picture nominees in a single day is a good idea by midnight tonight. (And, yes, if you win, you have to promise to stay for all five films.)