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The Bitch is Back in the Kitchen

By Kasandra Bracken

2009_01_27bitchin.jpg
Photo from Nadia G.

Sure, Martha Stewart upped her street credizzle about ten points when she invited Snoop Dogg on her show for a segment. She’s known to have her crabby side, or a few of them. Martha’s not getting old, she’s old as dirt―67, according to Wikipedia, authority on all things pre-historic. It’s about time to find another pretty, and pretty petulant replacement. And we think we’ve got just the bitch for the job.
You may know Nadia Giosia better as the lady in red from Bitchin’ Kitchen, the web-based cooking show that holds one of the top lifestyle podcast spots on iTunes. Hailing from St. Leonard―the Italian sector of Montreal―Nadia’s got marinara in her blood, claiming to have graduated from her nonna’s school of “hard-wooden-spoon-knocks.” Though the pretty Italian punk hasn’t whipped up any new videos this year, she’s been busy making plans with the Food Network, and shamelessly insisting that everybody buy the new Bitchin’ Kitchen Cookbook. And she does so with good reason―she wrote, styled, and designed the over-the-top graphics herself. As if her recipes weren’t spicy enough, her snarky humour, Rachael-Ray-may-care attitude, and signature vocab make the work a worthy read―be it for cooking or comedy.
Nadia’s battitude can be summed up in a few of her very own words. “Manners can suck it, and that’s the essence of Bitchin’ Kitchen. It’s all about tearing down that plastic, saccharine image that women are force-fed. It’s about embracing your inner rock star, breathing some Life and Style back into Lifestyle, and ultimately…stuffing your face.” Yep, that’s the same impression we got when we opened the book to a spicy pasta, meat, and veggies dish―a page of ingredients and instructions facing an image of some very naughty-looking sausages. With sections for “One-Night-Stand-Breakfasts” and “The Single Life,” the book’s meant to come in handy for any kind of messy situation. And if the food’s not enough to soothe your emotions, there’s scads of “Nadvice,” wise words for Nadia’s loyal followers―we just can’t quite advise that you follow it.
The Bitchin’ Kitchen Cookbook‘s pages pose a double threat, reading simultaneously like a cookbook and coffee-table book with glossy photo spreads and droll anecdotes. It’s like a coming-of-age novel for any badass chef-in-the-making. Nadia thinks she’s a pretty lucky one herself.
“At the end of the day I’m just a regular girl who enjoys getting kicked out of bars in 4-inch cherry red heels, you know? But with Bitchin’ Kitchen I get to make fun of my cake and eat it too.”
If you’re curious and not too afraid to meet the big bad bitch in person, Nadia will be signing copies of her new boobs book tonight at 7 p.m. in Indigo at the Eaton Centre.

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  • http://null atomeyes99

    i love it when ex-cheerleaders start to call themselves “punk” because they hold up heavy-metal fingers and wear 4-inch cherry red heels.
    you’re as punk as Robbie Williams, dear.

  • http://null Svend

    Why replace one image for women for another, this one even more fake and disposable.

  • http://www.bitchinkitchen.tv Nadia G

    Fantastic article. Props to Kasandra.
    As for the comments:
    Shh. Boys (with inferiority complexes) are meant to be seen not heard.
    -Cheerleader? You’ve got me mistaken for the chick who never shagged you in high-school. But I’d consider taking up the sport if you got attacked by a flock of rabid pigeons.
    -Fake & Disposable? Naw, that sounds more like your pseudo-feminist stance.
    Nerdy net-bashing aside, you both should come on down to the signing tonight. It’ll give you the opportunity to do something wild, like actually SEEING something before commenting on it.
    Love & Truffles,
    Nadia G.

  • http://undefined Ben

    AtomEyes99 is lucky.
    I once met Nadia G at a house party. Actually when we met we were both puking in the alley behind the house, so I started a conversation.
    The discussion turned to politics, and we soon clashed about which form of anarchism was the best. When I found out that she is an anarcho-syndicalist, I accused her of being “as punk as David Beckham’s fauxhawk.” She promptly told me to “go fuck myself” and punched me repeatedly in the face. She and her friends pummelled me until I blacked out.
    As luck would have it, when I woke from my coma she was in the hospital bed next to mine. She had been hospitalized after she’d had a heroin overdose later in the same evening.

  • http://undefined rocketeer

    I suddenly feel like I’m back in grade 10. The ‘dear’ bit is especially clever.

  • VioletV

    Svend, I’m confused; you feel ONE image for women is enough? We’re only allowed to have one (?) type of woman represented in any kind of media, ever?
    I’ve never commented on TOist before, as I usually just sit back and enjoy the posts and comments, but today I have to speak up.
    I’m not sure why Svend and atomeyes99 had such a knee-jerk negative reaction to an assertive and attractive lady wielding a pan, but I have a few guesses. I think Nadia G nailed the first one, that atomeyes99 may just be judging her based on some odd stereotype he cultivated way back when. Secondly, Svend seems to feel uncomfortable with women having more than one image.
    As a woman, I in no way consider Nadia G’s shtick to be “fake and disposable.” Clearly her bitch-in-the-kitchen thing is a persona, yes, but its a fun one! Entertainers are supposed to be entertaining, no? I personally am going to give her a chance and check out the cookbook before I judge her. And if it’s good, I hope it will live a long life on my kitchen bookshelf, never to be disposed of.

  • http://null Svend

    VioletV, we both agree it’s a persona and it’s an entertaining one.
    I prefer reality in the kitchen which will have several role models, guess I just don’t see cooking as an entertainment or sport. But if you do, that’s cool.

  • VioletV

    In all honestly, as a cooking enthusiast, I am always hungry (zing) for new and different information about cooking. If a host or cookbook author is willing to throw in a little comedy or a different twist on the way they present their ideas and recipes (assuming the food itself is good), I really do look at cooking as entertainment. But that’s me!