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The Six Best Toronto Port Authority Noise Complaints

Photo by news46 from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.
Two years after it was a major election issue, the Toronto Island Airport is no less contentious. Today, CommunityAIR forwarded on the Toronto Port Authority’s newly-released collection of noise complaints submitted in June [PDF], and there are plenty: in total, there were 195 complaints from 65 complainants, a significant increase over previous months. And sometimes there were dozens of complaints filed for one individual incident, like when a plane underwent engine maintenance early one Sunday morning and garnered some thirty complaints.
Pegged by CommunityAIR as documentation of “torture,” the complaints tell of frustration, but most still manage to be reasonable, succinct, detailed, and totally sympathetic. Most look like this one:
That’s not to say that the 83-page summary of complaints doesn’t make for good reading, though. Here are a few gems that, for one reason or another, stood out from the pack.

Say what you will about Ernest Hemingway’s temperament—the man could write.
And there’s Faulkner, showing off as usual.
Slowly but steadily, God enacts His revenge on Atheists and people who enjoyed Luminato.
It probably wasn’t the author’s intention, but this complaint makes living near the islands seem really exciting.
And this, obviously, is our favourite.