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Burning Tires Retired, U of T Gets Very Own Skynet, We Still Suck In Beijing

Ontario’s Environment Minister wants the province to have a scrap-tire recycling program. Tire retailers and collectors are opposed to the idea, because they make their money selling tires to be burned as fuel. Also opposed: the National Burning Stuff Association, who stated, “If we can’t burn tires, what are they going to keep us from burning next?”
The University of Toronto will soon become home to Canada’s most powerful supercomputer. The supercomputer will be used by scientists to solve physics problems and in its spare time will play the most bitchingly awesome sessions of World of Warcraft in the entire world.
Residents near Carlton and Jarvis are sick of all the prostitutes in their neighbourhood, so they banded together to form a foot patrol. Now, instead of prostitutes and their customers keeping the locals up all night, the locals are staying up all night voluntarily. (In retrospect, this may not have been the greatest plan.)
PropaneWatch 2008 continues, as city Councillor Maria Augimeri got into a shouting match yesterday with an angry constituent, telling him to “shut up.” Augimeri later explained that it was okay, though, because the guy was, like, totally an asshole. In more important news, Sunrise Propane twice violated provincial safety codes in the last two years, but provincial regulators didn’t do jack.
Finally, Mike Brown’s fourth-place finish in the 200m breaststroke continued Canada’s medal drought at this year’s Olympics. Expect Canada’s lacklustre performance to get mentioned by some annoying politician somewhere very soon.
Photo by Christmas w/a K.


  • Gauldar

    Finaly! A computer that’s able to run Crysis on full settings!

  • Gloria

    @1: Heh.

  • accozzaglia

    With this approach, it’s difficult to conjure a heartfelt sympathy for the property owners residing on Homewood Avenue who are now raising a fit. They’ve for north of two decades, maybe longer, assumed a “not-our-problem” tack to the lack of fixity beset upon Homewood-Maitland-Wellesley sex workers — a “see/hear/speak no evil” ethos to a huge issue going beyond property ownership, prostitution, or turf wars (which, in a civilized sense, is exactly this situation). But it’s not an issue likely to get a lot of air time, because the genesis of these problems is tedious, nasty, and slow to process. And people, held in aggregate, aren’t a patient lot.
    These property owners certainly didn’t feel the need to grasp, explore, or mobilize around the root causes leading to (or preventing future encores of) the Victoria Day 1996 triple murders, two of which happened within minutes of one another on Homewood (40 and 61 Homewood, respectively). It’s almost as if one could hear the ratepayers say, “Oh blues, we have a killer on the loose, so we should shy away from it and let things work themselves out on the night jungle of the street.”
    In the name of surveillance, Jane asked, “Where were those eyes upon the street?”
    The ugliest thing? The root of contempt aimed at these very sex workers by these property owners was (and is) identical to that of the killer and why he hand-picked the specific victims he did: vermin needing a good purge. This public contempt was manifest by Rosie DiManno’s columns of the time, published in The Star, which painted the killer in an ironically pastoral, mythic, yet perpetuating bad stereotype of Italian families (n.b., the Canadian killer was of Italian ancestry, yet despite DiManno’s brush-stroke, this was not germane to what triggered his killing spree) — while demonizing Homewood’s “twittery creatures” with their “coltish legs”. No one took umbrage with DiManno, cos yanno, “those hookers had it coming,” so it must be all-right for her to say. Right?
    I’d add on Jane’s philosophy: why weren’t the property owners getting to know their ad hoc neighbours, getting to the core of why A) they’re working in sex trade, and barred from working in other vocations (acutely and especially so in gay-populated Church-Wellesley, where gay men certainly don’t want these sex workers easily seen); and B) what they can do to alleviate the nuisance issues while developing a productive relationship to foster ways of opening new opportunities for both the sex workers and their own street’s quality of life.
    One might argue vehemently, “It’s not the property owners’ problem!” On the contrary: if it’s bothersome, and it’s on their street, then it most certainly is their problem (and will remain their problem indefinitely if attitudes remain as they are now). That’s called “ownership”. And in coming up with holistic solutions, it takes a village . . .
    Taking up the bug exterminator approach won’t solve the problem, either, given that this is precisely what the property owners are attempting now.

  • JonathanS

    We Still Suck In Beijing

    Expect Canada’s lacklustre performance to get mentioned by some annoying politician somewhere very soon.

  • PickleToes

    I’ll be sad to see the prostitutes driven away. I’ve always enjoyed laughing at them whenever I’m in the city late at night.
    Hey, isn’t the left supposed to be ulta-tolerant of sex? Whatever happened to liberal Toronto?

  • accozzaglia

    I’m sorta wondering what you look like, PickleToes. Something tells me the kind of seeds you have aren’t exactly found at your core.
    When it comes to sex, Toronto is historically prudish.

  • Svend

    The left is divided on prostitution and pornography, they have a moralist wing just like conservatives do.

  • Gauldar

    Whats with all the hate against prostitues? I thought you were pro-business? Sex for free should be a crime.

  • torontothegreat

    @Gaulder HAHAHAHA, omg I spit my coffee out reading that! Heh.

  • accozzaglia

    Gauldar: ++

  • PickleToes

    Guldar: What? I’m pro-prostitution. Somebody gets lucky, somebody gets paid, and I get a laugh as I drive past Hooker Harvey’s.