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Something Awful, Something New

Going by popularity, the song above is the front-runner for the CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada Anthem Challenge. Titled “Hockey Scores” and created by Logan Aube from Aurora, it is the most viewed, top rated, and most commented-on submission of over 1,000 themes entered thus far. Described by Aube as “a beautiful theme encompassing the heart of hockey,” it is absolutely and irrefutably atrocious, a million times worse than the iconic Hockey Night in Canada theme that the CBC embarrassingly lost to CTV.
And that’s sort of the point. Aube created “Hockey Scores” as a joke, then posted a thread in the Something Awful forums last Thursday, asking for the goons there to help make it popular. (There, he more honestly described the song as “mostly comprised of cat and sheep sounds, baby cries, and gunshots/explosions.”) A week later, with a spectacular animation on YouTube and an advocacy group on Facebook to further the cause, “Hockey Scores” is dominating the competition: almost every other theme uploaded can’t get a rating higher than two out of five, and commenters on Aube’s theme—those not in on the joke—are understandably confused, distressed, and furious.
Sadly, Aube’s submission almost certainly won’t win the contest’s $100,000 (plus 50% royalties) prize and serve as Hockey Night in Canada‘s next theme—semi-finalists, announced on October 4, are not selected solely by popularity and are vetted by a producer and judges—but it’s certainly a valiant effort. Even the CBC seems to think so: when “Hockey Scores” was briefly taken down on July 12, the CBC sent an e-mail to Lowgain clarifying that the move was a mistake on the part of a third-party moderator, and that Aube should “expect no further trouble with your most excellent submission.”
Thanks to Nik Broukhanski for the tip.


  • rek

    I want to cry it’s so funny.
    Go goons!

  • naddie

    That was excellent. I actually have a stich in my side from laughing.

  • David Toronto

    Reminds me of the closing music of South Park.

  • accozzaglia

    It’s brilliantly bad.

  • leonwestbrook

    Something Awful doing something unfunny and stupid? Doesn’t surprise me.
    The forums have sucked for years and its nothing but an aspie/catlady playground.

  • deadrobot

    That’s kinda catchy!

  • David Newland

    Can I get this as a ringtone?

  • Sarizzle

    I am so angry that CBC can no longer use the song. Hockey Night in Canada won’t be the same. I grew up with the song!

  • Skippy the Magical Racegoat

    That’s hilarious. It gets my vote.

  • David Topping
  • atomeyes99

    Sarizzle said:
    “I am so angry that CBC can no longer use the song. Hockey Night in Canada won’t be the same. I grew up with the song!”
    yes, but at one point, people grew up with harpischords and the bubonic plague. we eventually move on.

  • Sarizzle

    Thank you, atomeyes99, I’m sure I’ll be okay.

  • plepco

    That is AWESOME. The most hilarious thing I’ve encountered in a while. And what’s funnier is the kind response from the CBC. Canadians are so nice.

  • rek

    They played this on CBC Radio 3 and interviewed the guy who made it. He made up all these rationalizations for the various sounds, and the host fell for it.

  • David Topping

    Aube has been regularly updating the Something Awful forum thread with all the media appearances he’s made, and it’s definitely worth checking out. He’s somehow keeping the sincere songwriter act up, and more than a few respectable news sources are biting: The National called his anthem “techno” and (skip to 1:00) got some poor reporter to say that “if you think it’s one big joke, you’re wrong.”

  • Axeman

    Here’s a submission that is actually good!
    I’d be honoured if you would have a listen.
    I’m a hockey fan and a Canadian…..the first few notes are Oh Canada done ala Jimi Hendrix…..
    check it out

  • Tim5
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