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news

Crime Is Low, Money Grows, UFOs

rsz_ufo.jpg
Toronto’s city councillors have voted to change the rules governing their office budgets, which includes the elimination of alcohol with meals with staff, mileage compensation to and from City Hall, and compensation for raffle tickets or silent auction bids. On the bright side, Torontoist’s corporate booze budget is at an all-time high.
Statistics Canada recently released data indicating that Canada’s crime rate is at a 30-year low, with reductions in violent crimes such as sexual assault, robbery, and homicide. What this means is that there’s never been a better time for you to walk around the city late at night, by yourself, flashing wads of cash, and wearing expensive, loose-fitting jewellery.
When you were a little kid, your parents probably set you up with a bank account so you could learn the time-honoured traditions of filling out deposit slips and dealing with surly bank tellers. CityNews is reporting that there is now more than $320 million in unclaimed funds from defunct bank accounts just sitting there at the Bank of Canada, waiting for a new home. Think about it, you could be one of the lucky 938,000 account holders with a boatload of money coming to them and not even know it! Actually, we checked, and no, you’re not. Sorry.
In more Bank of Canada news, its governor Mark Carney yesterday called Canada’s economy “robust” and projected annualized second-quarter growth of 0.8% despite a 0.3% contraction in the first quarter. Annualized wha…? We really wish we hadn’t skipped so many economics classes now.
Finally, the Toronto Sun is taking a long, hard look an issue that has divided honest, hard-working Canadians for years, namely: “What’s the deal with all these bloody UFOs all over the place?”
Photo by jpjd from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.

Comments

  • davedave

    “no mileage to and from city hall”
    wtf does this mean? They were expensing travel to and from work?
    If they have meetings somewhere other than city hall they should absolutely be allowed to expense mileage/taxis.
    “no raffle tickets or bids on silent auctions”
    They were spending money on this? You’ve got to be kidding.

  • David Topping

    Here’s the link to the actual Statistics Canada report, for those interested in the raw data.

  • andresfelipesv

    well, it seems Michael Scott’s financial problems are over, and now he can quit Dunder Mifflin for good.