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June 16, 2008

Disappearance of the Killer Tomatoes, Hampton Bows Out, and Bloor Street Gets Arboreal

061608news.jpg

Many fast-food chains and grocery stores are reintroducing tomatoes to their menus after the American tomato salmonella outbreak last week. Officials for the stores said that they waited until everybody had forgotten about the salmonella thing before bringing back the tomatoes, and that in future they hope to make us forget about bad things faster.

Howard Hampton confirmed this weekend that he will not seek re-election to the NDP's provincial leadership next March. Hampton plans to campaign for the federal NDP leadership, describing Jack Layton's party leadership as "dangerously alive" and "notoriously noticeable."

Dalton McGuinty once again promised that he will not raise taxes despite a weakening economy and a perceived need for increased public investment. Immediately following this announcement, McGuinty unveiled his "tax shift" plan, whereby potential taxes from the future are temporally shifted to the present so we can pay them right away.

Local businesses have hammered out a $20 million plan to make Bloor Street more pedestrian-friendly. The plan consists of replacing parking spots with additional sidewalk space and planting trees. The plan is brilliant, because pedestrians love trees.

And Toronto FC had a good weekend, keeping their at-home winning streak alive as they beat the Colorado Rapids.

Photo by Stewart Leiwakabessy.

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Comments (4) [rss]

Does Howard Hampton actually intend to run for the leadership of the federal NDP? A Google search indicates not.

I's a pain to have to do a Google search to figure out what's news, and what's satire.

 

Rule of thumb: the first sentence is true, the rest of the paragraph is satire.

 

The Star is drinking a lot of kool-aid - that article could have been written as a joint effort between the Bloor BIA and Rae's office, especially since it makes no effort of two particular fiascos:

1. The bumpout at Holt Renfrew so the well heeled won't have to walk to their limos
2. The absence of a long fought for improvement to cycling access on Bloor.

Never mind those though because we've got granite footpaths baby!

 

The granite will look awesome when the city digs up sections and patches the holes with asphault a few months later.

 
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