June 25, 2008
Cute Boys Make Her Nervous
Amid all the cute overloading our recent Internet history, all the LOLcatz and YouTube Charlies, we began to feel that something very important was missing. We just couldn't figure out what it was. Did we need more plush? More anime? More stuff on our cats?
No, no, no. We needed...
Yes, there is now a blog devoted exclusively to the pursuit of happy, daydreamy, or hipsterishly sullen boy faces. Honest, we don't know how we lived before.
The best part is, Torontoist's international superspy team (oh, you didn't know? Exactly) has deduced that this adorable stalker is one of our very own. Yes, she snaps shots of dreamboys all over the place, from Venezuela to La Seine (especially La Seine—there are myriad Parisians, but of course, Paris is the worldwide capital of potential lovers, n'est-ce pas?) But two things make us sure she's from these parts: one, all the cuties she calls her friends are from the 416, and another, she talks about Tequila Bookworm at one point, and what kind of tourists hang out at Tequila Bookworm?
We still don't know who she is (assuming it's a she, as boys don't generally make jokes about making babies with other boys) but we hope she knows that her blog is even cuter than the boys. To wit, her dating wisdom:
When Keith came to see our apartment I voted for him as a roommate almost exclusively based on his face and clothes. But I forgot that when you live with people they morph into siblings. So you can't become boyfriend/girlfriend or else you make deformed babies.
Or:
Art school boys, they are always the cutest! Until they break up with you because you are "not punk enough." True story.
Aww!
Now, we just need a Cute Girls blog and a link between them, and we'll have all the internet romance our summerloving hearts desire.
Photo of Edward in Kensington Market from Cute Boys, duh.
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God. I can smell the hipster smugness from here.
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I'll take the bait: I'm not sure Cute Girls would make news, here.
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Cute Girls are always news.
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Not on my watch.
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I totally keep trying to make babies with boys, but it hasn't worked yet. Failure won't stop me from continuing to try!
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What a scrawny little emo look-a-like. I bet if I could see his wrists more clearly there'd be some razor blade scars. I'm also inclined to believe that this cookie cutter, vintage style hippie is stowing an NDP membership card and a copy of the Toronto (Red) Star in his dainty little bags.
Oh yeah, one last jab: He's super pale. I imagine that's from staying inside all day and listening to the Used.
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That's apparently Edward. Edward made his own pants......probably from a pair of longer, ugly filthy looking pair of old red corduroys.....and that makes him 'so cute'. Never mind the disgusting week old beard he has lazily decided not to shave.
I wish I knew what it was about not shaving for a week that makes a guy look cute to a girl. From what I understood about my last relationship is that she insisted on a smooth as silk face before making out or going 'down'...
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God, women's standards are so friggin' low.
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spleen: Good point. I'm willing to bet that if he's too lazy to shave he's probably also too lazy to hold down a job (hence the vintage image - Goodwill is cheap), or worry about other, more subtle, elements of hygiene.
Yet another jab: His arms are so skinny that even his Mom could probably beat him up.
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Ah yes, being an art school cute boy. It's a hard life.
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Cute boys? Excellent. Would appreciate something beyond skinny H&M employees though.
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ok, enough hostility. who can't appreciate a cute boy to look at? whatever.
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Wasn't trying to be hostile, honest. But variety is the spice of life, right?
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I am shocked none of the male commenters have yet asked if they qualify as "cute."
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It's the eyes, he looks deep in thought or just has a mild buzz on - chicks dig that.
His disheveled salvage yard looks also bring out the maternal instinct, he'll be scooped up and molded within a year.
Or not.
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Mostly gross.
I can smell the axe from here.
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I'm almost positive that the intention in writing this wasn't to create one more opportunity for all the insecure jerks in the city to make jabs at someone who didn't even call himself "cute."
And just because the writer of the blog thinks he's cute... doesn't mean you have to. But it also doesn't mean you have to list all the reasons you think he's not cute.
Get some hobbies. Learn to knit. Play X's and O's.
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A cute girls blog would just turn into a place for girls to hate on other girls because of their own insecurities about themselves...kinda like the boys who commented on this entry.