By Patrick Metzger

The mothers of murder victims Oliver Martin and Dylan Ellis went public yesterday pleading for information to help find the person responsible for their son’s deaths. Hope it’s not going to be that kind of summer.
In more scumbag-related news, 6 dogs have become seriously ill after someone laced a canine drinking fountain at High Park with antifreeze.
Jolly good, that googly caught the batsman leg before wicket, lads! If this is the kind of thing you’re fond of saying and you’re not just insane, you may be pleased to hear that cricket has been declared eligible for official government funding.
Ex-Cabinet-Minister-dater Julie Couillard will publish her autobiography this fall, which unless she’s filmed fellating Stephen Harper during Question Period will be about 4 months after the public has lost interest.
Groundbreaking and controversial comedian George Carlin has died of heart failure at the age of 71—please bow your head in tribute and say “Holy fuck, that shit really sucks, George.”
In Euro Cup action, there was little joy in little Italy yesterday as the Italian squad was beaten by Spain 4-2. Spain will go up against Russia this Thursday in the semi-finals.
Photo by Lone Primate from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.