By Christopher Bird

With Toronto FC having sold out two straight seasons, the City is discussing expanding BMO Field. Bitter fans of the late Toronto Blizzard were heard muttering, “Where were all these so-called soccer fans fifteen years ago, huh?”
The Liberal Party revealed their carbon tax plan yesterday. From an environmental standpoint, the plan is solid, but unfortunately, it has one fatal flaw: Stéphane Dion is the one trying to sell it to Canadians. Plans are underway to make sure that Dion attends all press conferences in an elaborately large fake mustache in the hopes Canadians think he is someone else.
A new policy initiative from City Hall would sharply cut back on discretionary expenses for city councillors. Please insert a boring budgetary joke here. (There are no really good budgetary jokes, unless you are an accountant.)
Toronto Fire Services issued a letter saying that the St. Clair West streetcar track redesign is unsafe and will cause delays in emergency vehicle responses. This might mean that the track might take even longer to build, but your great-grandchildren will love taking the streetcar to the alien slave market!
And despite scoring six runs in the ninth inning last night, the Blue Jays managed to lose again. Manager John Gibbons: “We don’t quit, we never do, but we don’t win games.” Somebody put that on a t-shirt!
Photo by 35mmMonkey from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.