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Stripper Shortage Looms, Canadians Gloom, Heist At Casa Loom-a

2008_06_11_strip_club2.jpg
The Star says that an immigration crackdown has halved the number of exotic dancers in Toronto over the last decade, fuelling lap-dance inflation and forcing strip club customers to make hard choices between Froot Loops for the kids and throwing twenties at naked strangers.
A new survey shows that Canadians are losing confidence in the economy, with 57% predicting a recession within six months. Torontoist blames the media for all the negativity.
Mubin Shaikh, the RCMP informant testifying at the terror trial of the so-called “Toronto 18,” said of the suspect’s activities at a training camp north of Toronto, “We weren’t out there picking daisies, that’s for sure.” Defence lawyers vowed to prove that daisies were not only picked, but artfully arranged in vases and placed on top of lace doilies.
Two first-year university students have been arrested after allegedly breaking into Casa Loma and stealing firearms and other military artifacts following a night of drinking in the entertainment district. Revenge of the Nerds indeed.
A CAW official says that a political solution is needed to save 2,700 jobs at GM in Oshawa, which is union-speak for “we need the taxpayers to pony up and fund our jobs because they’re completely economically unviable.”
Photo by beembag in the Torontoist Flickr Pool.

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Comments

  • dowlingm

    I see the stripper companies are looking at academic visas because college students can work 20hrs/wk.
    So instead of “stripping their way through college” they will be “colleging their way through stripping”… that’s, um, different…

  • PickleToes

    I’d make a good stripper, I’m not into that thing though.

  • TokyoTuds

    Save the 2,700 jobs, but don’t bother saving GM Oshawa. It is GM that is not economically viable.
    Cheers,
    Tuds

  • Amanda Buckiewicz

    Solution: GM workers take up stripping.
    Problem solved.

  • rek

    The media really is responsible. All we’ve heard for the last 4+ months is that the US economy is tanking and then they ask their financial experts leading questions about how it will impact Canada.

  • re_mastered

    did anyone else see the irony in the economy paragraph? lolz

  • Svend

    The Star article fails to mention there are half the number of strip clubs in Toronto compared to ten years ago. All of Scarborough has only one.
    Ontario is still rich with small town gals who make the pilgrimage to work in Toronto’s strip clubs, there isn’t a shortage in this commodity but they are now competing with massage parlours and escort agencies or the girls just striking out on their own on craigslist in greater numbers.