Rumours are flying about Led Zeppelin potentially playing the Rogers Centre this summer. (See Torontoist's breaking post from last weekend here.) Let Torontoist give you a sneak preview: the tickets, targeted for an aging boomer base with money to burn, will be insanely expensive; the band will give a competent but unremarkable performance that will have every paper exclaiming in an enormous font "THEY'VE STILL GOT IT!" when in truth they only barely have anything resembling "it"; and somewhere, zombie John Bonham will shed a single tear.

Hey, remember a few months ago when some shitheads abandoned a baby in a parking garage in the middle of winter? The cops say they've found the parents. Sadly, the law will prohibit someone from forming a line for people to kick them in the junk.

The Burmese government finally agreed to let aid workers into the country to assist survivors of last month's cyclone. However, in order to get visas, aid workers will have to agree to join the Burmese army for a year. A spokesman for the Burmese government said "what? Isn't that reasonable?"

Tim Hortons is in the news for being stupid yet again: this time, it's because a customer bought a homeless person some food, and then an employee scolded the customer for being a decent human being. However, it turns out this is just a publicity stunt for their new "Asshole" flavoured donut. Timmies also announced they'll be getting the baby-abandoning parents to serve as spokespersons.

Finally, Lyle Overbay hit a home run and the Blue Jays won a game, bringing them tantalizingly to one game below .500. This is what passes for good sports news in Toronto these days, you see.

Photo by Still the Oldie from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.