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news

OPP Gets Plane, Queen’s Park Angers God, Panhandlers To Get Badgered

2008_05_06_plane.jpg
Dalton McGuinty unveiled a new plane yesterday, which will be used by the OPP to deter dangerous drivers on Ontario highways. To encourage courteous motoring, the plane is armed with four Maverick air-to-ground missiles and a 30 mm cannon capable of piercing two inches of armour plate. Actually the plane just reports bad driving to ground units, but I’d bet my idea would be more effective.
A proposal to scrap the Lord’s Prayer in Queen’s Park attracted so many online submissions yesterday that the legislature website temporarily crashed. The Lord denied an organized campaign, saying, “Sure, I’d like them to keep saying My prayer, but I’m not going to get all confrontational about it.”
The Toronto City Council executive committee approved a $4.9 million plan to curb panhandling by hiring the equivalent of 48 full-time temporary social workers to talk beggars into more pro-social behaviours. While the plan angered right-wingers who wanted a legal crackdown, it’s hard to imagine a few more tickets being as effective as afflicting panhandlers with a cohort of underemployed sociology grads asking about their feelings.
The death toll from the recent cyclone in Myanmar has now risen to 22,464, and American first lady Laura Bush has weighed in on the tragedy by accusing the ruling junta of failing to warn the nation’s people about the oncoming storm. A spokesperson for Myanmar’s military rulers said, “We may be hideous tyrants, but we don’t need advice on disaster management from the Bush family.”
Photo by denmar from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.

Comments

  • Vincent Clement

    Instead of spending $4.9 million to hire temporary social workers, it would have been cheaper and more productive to send them to Alberta – I hear McDonald’s pays $10 an hour in Fort McMurray.
    Fascist Fantino must be stopped. His street racer legislation has yet to nab an actual street racer and has become a cash cow for the government and insurance industry.

  • davedave

    Prayer in the legislature? That’d be a clear violation of the Charter.

  • andrew

    Dude, that last part about the underemployed sociology grads made me erupt in laughter, causing my office neighbour to probably wonder about me. You and Bird, man. Make this site worth reading.

  • Green Sulfur

    I like the idea on Spacing Toronto: Get the panhandling money from the police budget since they won’t have to write all those tickets homeless people can’t pay.

  • Ben

    His street racer legislation has yet to nab an actual street racer

    Not by your definition. There is nothing wrong with prosecuting people who drive dangerously.