Torontoist: Snappy Answers: To Beard or Not To Beard?

torontothegreat

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 13:12:59 -0500

>montauk: patriarchy? excuse me? i'm a woman and a feminist. i call males babes too, all the time. even the ones i don't keep around in the morning. took the words right out of my mouth! hahahaha

Gloria

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 18:00:41 -0500

Confidence is key. Rock it, and the chicks will come. (In more ways than one, yes.)

PickleToes

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 15:57:11 -0500

Beards are pretty awesome, although their not as cool as a full grown moustache. Nevertheless, I think some of the posters here are beardophobes.

Patrick Metzger

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 14:42:16 -0500

Sarah: Patriarchs wear beards, typically long white ones but even a well-trimmed goatee is usually indicative of patriarchal tendencies. By supporting, or at least failing to oppose the wearing of beards, you make yourself part of the patriarchal oppressionary class.

PickleToes

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 14:28:17 -0500

rek: Well I'm not attacking any specific person, so I thought it would be okay.

Sarah Prickett

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 11:20:27 -0500

montauk: patriarchy? excuse me? i'm a woman and a feminist. i call males babes too, all the time. even the ones i don't keep around in the morning.

tyrannosaurus_rek

Sat, 31 May 2008 22:48:34 -0500

I guess ad homs aren't that bad after all, eh PickleTroll?

bbpsi

Sat, 31 May 2008 21:39:40 -0500

Pickletoes saves the day!

PickleToes

Sat, 31 May 2008 19:05:33 -0500

mark0: That's because marxists are half-people.

mark0

Sat, 31 May 2008 18:39:02 -0500

Confession: I was a Marxist for a while, but I didn't have a beard. I felt like half a person.

iamnotdynamite

Sat, 31 May 2008 18:32:42 -0500

realitycheck was once a good satirist, in that what he used to say was believable enough. there was always a bit of doubt as to whether he was for real or not, and he knew just how to rile people up. unfortunately, he's obviously lost his skills, as this is way too over the top to be taken remotely seriously. i'm sure that with a bit of work and some refinement of his writing he can get back into the game though.

Jonathan Goldsbie

Sat, 31 May 2008 17:55:52 -0500

When I saw in the Recent Comments sidebar "RealityCheck on Snappy Answers: To Beard or Not To Beard?" I thought, oh, wow, RealityCheck on beards, I wonder what he's gonna say? Mr. Check, you did not disappoint.

RealityCheck

Sat, 31 May 2008 17:26:29 -0500

A full beard is a signal that you are either suffering from a serious, untreated mental disease, or that you are some sort of Marxist professor or radical. In either case you should be apprehended by the authorities and either put in treatment or shot, but in no way are you a good or credible prospect for the interest of a lady. See Chris Robinson for evidence of the former, and Ken Livingstone during his first run as Mayor of London for the second. A very closely trimmed goatee can work on some people, but if you need to ask...

Svend

Sat, 31 May 2008 16:38:21 -0500

My personal poll tells me 78.3% of women prefer me clean-shaven, however if I had a weak jaw line which needed hiding that number would drop dramatically. If you find someone who's only fault is a need to give you a makeover, consider yourself lucky.

montauk

Sat, 31 May 2008 15:47:11 -0500

"If the babe lets you keep your beard, you keep her around in the morning." Personally, I'm inclined against guys who a) view me as some kind of pubic hair authority / "shrill wife" stereotype who beneficently "lets" the supposedly bumbling, incapable menfolk retain parts of their own bodies and b) treat me as a potentially useful appliance / sexual object stereotype who is either "kept around" (for what?) or discarded after sex. But then, I don't identify as "babe", so I guess none of this applies to me away. If that's the golden rule, you can shove it up your patriarchy.