Torontoist: Sex and Our City: Similars Attract

Catherine Kustanczy

Sat, 31 May 2008 12:04:50 -0500

Physical attractiveness is one thing; emotional/intellectual/spiritual/mental attractiveness is quite another. I agree with iantri and Marc that where you grow up and what you're exposed to at a young age definitely influences (shapes) your future notions of physical attractiveness -but the other big piece of the puzzle (for me) is that most-seemingly-easy, yet most elusive of things: Having Stuff In Common That You Can Both Talk About Equally. Doesn't mean you agree. Doesn't mean you are carbon copies. Just means you're on the same level mentally (& otherwise) that you should be physically. Again, similiars attract.

torontothegreat

Fri, 30 May 2008 13:18:43 -0500

I def. believe it has to do with exposure to some degree, but I also think it can be even more shallow than that. I like full lips, dark complexions and deep dark eyes. Not to say that you can't find that description in any race, but on average you'll find it more with say people of African descent, therefore I tend to only date within that race. >It’s impossible to state that you will never find someone of a particular race attractive. However the above always proves me wrong. I have said similiar things to only have eaten my words soon after.

andrew

Fri, 30 May 2008 13:16:01 -0500

A certain amount of thought about who you like, and why you like them, is a good thing. But overthinking it, or discussing it at length, is a terrible thing. Admit (when appropriate) what you desire and who you desire in an open and honest manner, and don't go out of your way to hurt people's feelings.

Marc Lostracco

Fri, 30 May 2008 12:26:05 -0500

I think with repeated exposure to ethnicities that are different—especially at a younger age—the wider the "attractiveness" net gets cast. It's kinda like in the same way that someone you meet who is unremarkable at first can start getting really attractive once you get to know them. Which is really how it should be...those who only date women with big, fake breasts, or who only date Asians, or who only date people under thirty are fetishizing an element of attractiveness. That's okay, I guess, but it only goes so far.

torontothegreat

Fri, 30 May 2008 10:21:56 -0500

>Science can explain body shape and facial features that are appealing, but can it explain a whole race being unattractive? Some other races have much different physical characteristics which could be a large part of the 'explaination' I'm primarly attracted to these 'features' and have actually been called 'racist' for it. Which is laughable at best.

sheleftyouasong

Fri, 30 May 2008 10:08:02 -0500

i read an article somewhere a little while back that suggested we were most attracted to what was familure growing up. the people who surrounded us as children are most familure to us, and for that reason part of what we find most attractive. personally, i think it holds alot of truth, but you never know.

wardnikoff

Fri, 30 May 2008 08:32:43 -0500

"Race" or, I assume skin colour in this article is simply a physical charecteristic, one of many people are generally picky about - hair, height, weight - we all have our seemingly vain preferences in others - however, for some if can go deeper when that "race" or skin colour takes on a cultural bias, or at least a perceived cultural bias. Certainly, having preferences that run along sterotypical cultural boundries can be a dicy thing to talk about, of course no more than a preference for large breasts or a full head of hair. Read Desmond Morris on some interesting opinions about this sort of thing.

iantri

Thu, 29 May 2008 21:45:48 -0500

I hate to say, I'm primarily attracted to other white guys (I'm white). That's not a hard rule, but usually... I chalk that up to growing up at the edges of suburbia. When those sex neurons (or whatever) started firing in my brain when I was a teenager, the other people around me were all, well, white guys..