In the hierarchy of beloved Canadian animals, certainly near the top are the beaver, the caribou, and the polar bear. The Canada Goose is much more divisive in its ranking. Sure, having Canada in its name is a pretty slick move, but being an aggressive, overpopulating pooping machine is a strong deficit. Obviously, where the Canada Goose stands will become a contentious issue, soon to join famed debates as, "Is maple the best donut ever?" and "Polkaroo: Was a mystery third person involved?" In case you're ever forced to take a stand on the awesomeness of the Canada Goose, here are some helpful factoids.

Canada Geese, especially the males, become territorial and violent during April to June as nesting season begins. The male will protect the female and the nest: if you get too close, he will stare you down, hiss, or sounds out to signal that he is readying an attack. Geese can injure you through either biting or beating you with their wings. There are three essential steps in stopping a goose attack.

First, show no fear and look the male goose in the eyes. Geese are attuned to fear and may start or intensify an attack at the sign of fear. Second, slowly step backwards to create distance between the goose and yourself. However, don't turn your back to the goose, which will stop eye contact. Third, don't yell at or attack the male goose, as it could signal the female goose into joining the attack. Then, you're screwed.

As if getting beat down by a bird isn't bad enough, it is illegal to either disturb Canada Geese—a migratory bird protected by the Migratory Bird Convention Act, 1994—during nesting period or to disturb or destroy their eggs. The average fine is $300, but it can be as high as $100,000 maximum fine and time in jail. No wonder the Canada Geese are so cocky around now—they've got immunity!

Of course, if the birds really annoy you, you can take out your frustration by doing some legal hunting usually between September to December [PDF]. But, come on! Nice, fuzzy domestic animals are boring. Feisty snapping fowl keep the heart pumping!

If you do somehow end up with a goose, realize that Canada Geese are not only dangerous, but, apparently, delicious too! Dining on Canada Geese is fit for both the very, very poor and the very, very rich! (Isn't there something quintessentially Canadian about that?) It's an interesting way to handle overpopulating, as the Canada Goose doesn't have a natural predator in Toronto—unless the city decides to import some arctic foxes.

We'll wait for the inevitable soy goose.

Photo by VicPhotos.