Today Fri Sat
It is forecast to be Partly Cloudy at 11:00 PM EDT on July 24, 2014
Partly Cloudy
22°/13°
It is forecast to be Clear at 11:00 PM EDT on July 25, 2014
Clear
23°/17°
It is forecast to be Chance of Rain at 11:00 PM EDT on July 26, 2014
Chance of Rain
23°/19°

12 Comments

news

Glass Makes Money, Train Costs Less Money, Ed Stelmach Is Money

bottles.jpg
New glass recycling program will save local municipalities millions of dollars. It turns out that you can turn used glass into other things than smaller bits of broken glass!
Stephen Harper threatens to sue Stéphane Dion for libel over allegations of bribery. Harper, long an advocate of tort reform, explained that while limiting the ability of people to sue is generally a good thing, he didn’t mean that it should apply to him.
Tory MP proposes “no-frills” train line from Peterborough to Union Station. Dean Del Mastro plans to make the line profitable by forcing all passengers to pedal in unison, saving greatly on energy expenses.
Anglican church locks its doors. The congregation of St. Chad’s on Dufferin voted to abandon the official Anglican church and join the rebelling Anglican Network, which opposes same-sex marriage rights. The Anglican church responded by saying, “that’s nice. Go buy your own frigging church, then.” Except, you know, in a holier way.
Alberta elects 11th consecutive Tory government. Alberta voters supposedly hungry for change, according to the media zeitgeist, displayed it by voting for the exact same guys they always vote for. Premier Ed Stelmach said, quote, “it’s not how long you govern, it’s how well you govern,” which coincidentally is also his approach to sex.
Finally, America, or at least some of it, votes. Primaries tonight in Texas, Ohio, Rhode Island, and Vermont will determine if Hillary Clinton’s campaign to become President will end ignominiously or, alternately, continue ignominiously. Also, John McCain will likely clinch his party’s nomination, having worked overtime to cater to the whims of crazy assholes like John Hagee, who claims that Catholics are devil-spawn.
Photo by andreakw from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.

Comments

  • WannaBinToranna

    “whims of crazy assholes like John Hagee”
    -unfortunately, a very powerful and influential crazy asshole.

  • Doggiez

    It’s Ed Stelmach, not Stelnach. Get thee to a proofreader!

  • The Explosively Talented Christopher Bird

    In my defense, the letter “m” and “n” look quite alike when you’re squinting at the monitor at 6 AM. Stupid Alberta and their stupid elections that don’t get decided until stupid late in the night!

  • james a

    Step one: Announce, with much fanfare, that you have progressive policies by establishing a $500mil fund for transit initiatives
    Step two: Announce that you are going to build a train line that will barely be used through swing ridings, predicted to cost at least 300$mil, likely to rise to 500$mil once needed track upgrades are completed.
    *sigh*
    Also, I think it’s safe to say that Alberta’s “stupid election” was decided several decades ago, so you have no excuse, Mr. Bird. :)

  • David Newland

    Are we to presume it’s Alberta’s fault you used “marraige” and “ignomiously” as well?

  • David Newland

    Are we to presume it’s Alberta’s fault you used “marraige” and “ignomiously” as well?

  • McKingford

    So Alberta again shows that the only people dumber than the people running the province (who are, it must be fairly said, pretty damn stupid) are the people voting for the people running the province.

  • RealityCheck

    Elections that don’t get decided until late at night? Whaaaa?
    CBC (!!!!) called it for Stelmach at 8:20MST, 20 minutes after the polls closed with 1% reporting. That’s 8:20 and not too late EST compared to Ontario elections!
    Good to see the Alberta Liberals being so successful!

  • David E

    Fix your headline: the name’s Stelmach.
    It’s an m not an n.

  • dowlingm

    the wrong questions are being asked about the Peterborough line. The right question is – how many more crumbling lines of track are CN and CP going to get upgraded on the taxpayer’s dime rather than doing it themselves?

  • David Topping

    All the errors should be fixed. Very sorry for the delay, all.
    For future reference, one of the fastest ways to get an error corrected is to e-mail myself (david@torontoist.com), Marc (marc@torontoist.com), or the tips e-mail address (tips@torontoist.com). (Better yet, e-mail both Marc and me.) We read all comments, but not as often or as quickly as we read our e-mails.
    Sorry again.

  • Patrick Metzger

    Don’t feel sad Chris I’m not even allowed to post news without somebody reviewing it first.