By Patrick Metzger

Today we celebrate Ontario’s first ever Family Day. Banks and government offices are closed, but many malls and stores are open for last-minute Family Day shopping.
As reported by the Sun, the Fraser Institute released its 2008 rankings of Ontario elementary schools, with most schools in the GTA faring reasonably well. If you have stupid kids, you can use the report to find a lousy school to send them to so people won’t blame their failure on your bad genes.
It looks as though Toshiba may bow to the inevitable and abandon the HD-DVD format, leaving rival Blu-Ray as the winner in the marketplace. For those of you early adopters who invested in HD-DVD players, it may be time to throw them in the closet with the mini-disc and the Betamax.
Defying the warnings of Russia, the Serbian province of Kosovo has declared its independence. In response, the Kaiser mobilized his armies while…oh, sorry. I’ve got to stop getting my news off this tickertape machine.
Pakistan goes to the polls today amid accusations of vote-rigging and voter intimidation, and with the looming spectre of further suicide bombings like the three that took place last week. Up for grabs in this election: a whole passel of cool nuclear weapons!
Photo by loneprimate.