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Keep on Rolen, Baby

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After the Toronto Blue Jays acquired a gimpy Scott Rolen in exchange for a gimpy Troy Glaus, the general consensus was that the two players cancelled each other out. One point, however, hasn’t been discussed—possibly because it’s utterly irrelevant to the game of baseball. Still, we feel it’s worth mentioning that we’ll no longer have to wince as Troy Glaus limps up to bat with “Crazy Train” blasting through the speakers. Instead, we’ll apparently get to revel in watching Rolen strut to the plate to the melodious sounds of…wait for it…”Rollin’.” Yes, the Limp Bizkit song.

We’re giddy about this. True, a campy good song can’t replace Glaus’ power numbers or disguse Rolen’s injury history—but at least it’ll give us four or five excuses a night to remember the song’s ridiculously over-the-top video (filmed atop the World Trade Center, of all places). “Crazy Train” was/is too predictable. “Rollin’,” in spite of the obvious pun (it’s so obvious we’re almost embarrassed to point it out), tells us Rolen is badass. Y’know, ’cause Fred Durst was so badass in that backwards red ball cap of his.
Modern athletes don’t tend to divulge much about themselves—and given the media’s 24/7 fixation with them and their sports we can’t really blame them. Under these circumstances, however, something as seemingly inconsequential as which song they use by way of introduction at least gives us a bone to pick at—even if it’s about something as minor as what kind of music they might like. Lyle Overbay, for instance, is apparently a Pearl Jam fan, given his proclivity for Ten-era radio hits (not to mention the fact that we literally bumped into him at both of the band’s 2006 Air Canada Centre shows). Closer B.J. Ryan charges out of the bullpen to “Duality” by Slipknot; we assume he spends his off-days in circle pits at local metal shows. Aaron Hill occasionally favours “Blind” by KoRn, which might’ve been a more appropriate selection for former teammate Corey Koskie. Gregg Zaun, meanwhile, uses “Mr. Brownstone.” Given the recent allegations about Zaun’s steroid use, this is a strangely appropriate choice.
Now we’ve got Scott Rolen rockin’ the Limp Bizkit, a selection that meets with our enthusiastic approval. If the Blue Jays ever needed us to fill in for a few games, we’re pretty sure we’d use “For Whom the Bell Tolls” as our intro music—a strange choice, to be sure, since we generally despise Metallica (we’re still smarting from that Napster ban back in 2000). Come to think of it, maybe Scott Rolen despises Limp Bizkit, too; in fact, maybe baseball players settle on particular songs because they sound like what an intro song should sound like. Maybe there’s less to it than we think. One thing’s for certain, however: this revelation about Scott Rolen has us a little bit more excited for Opening Day. We just hope Rolen plays the song’s intro, too:
“All right, partner: keep on rollin’, baby. You know what time it is.”
How good would that be?
Photo by Forced Perfect from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.

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