Stocks Stagger, Stelmach Stretches, Star Staff Striking

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Unionized Toronto Star employees met at a downtown hotel yesterday and voted 96% in favour of a strike, or as the Star itself might say, "Star Employees Vote To Strike At Hotel."

In another sign of potential economic trouble on the horizon, the benchmark TSX stock index dropped 623 points in two days. While most issues declined, analysts declared themselves bullish on several sectors, including rural real estate, bottled water, and firearms.

The San Diego medical examiner reported yesterday that Ike Turner's death last month was caused by a cocaine overdose. A spokesman for the family said, "He died doing what he loved."

Alberta Premier Ed Stelmach told participants in an energy forum in Washington D.C. that the idea that the Alberta oil sands projects are environmentally unsound is a "myth." As the audience sat in stunned silence, Stelmach slipped out to join U.S. Vice-President Dick Cheney in toasting the Dark Lord with a skull full of virgin's blood.

Possibly buoyed by their showing in the recent census, a First Nations organization has annuounced they will be collecting "royalties" from developers and businesses on disputed land in Southern Ontario, implying disruptive protests and possible violence against those who don't comply. Tony Soprano would be proud.

Photo by kitsch:in:sync from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.

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Anyone over at the Star wanna fess up to that desk?

i laughed twice and now the professor hates me

I don't think anyone would wanna fess up to actually having read Anthony Kiedes' autobiography.

Alberta Premier Ed Stelmach told participants in an energy forum in Washington D.C. that the idea that the Alberta oil sands projects are environmentally unsound is a "myth."

Just as the idea that the dinosaurs are extinct is a "myth". They are clearly alive and well, and occupying a majority of the seats in the Alberta legislature...

My guess is that the desk belongs to Patricia Hluchy, formerly of Maclone's magazine. She knows why this is my best guess!

As for the looming strike, well, I'm not surprised. Newspapers have been bleeding money for years now, and part of it is their own fault, since they were slow to embrace the advertising possibilities of the Internet (how can The Star compete with The Toronto Sun's free classifieds, or Craigslist? Likewise, they were also slow to offer reduced rates on combined print/net advertising).

I remember the last Star strike in 1992, which took place when I was a freelancer at the place. I also remember my editor at the time saying the paper was being put out with a skeleton staff, and lots of wire clippings. Keep in mind this was 16 years ago, before the Internet, and prior to mass layoffs at Maclean's, the CBC, Global, The Toronto Sun, and pretty much every other media outlet in Canada. Is is indeed a sad time to be employed by a major news outlet in The Great White North.

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