January 10, 2008
It Is Windy! It Is Slowing Down Economically! It Is A Bad Day To Be A Maple Leaf!
Sections of downtown core shut down for fear of falling debris. David Miller responds by initiating the "Less Wind Now" campaign, encouraging Ottawa to build "a giant wall" around Toronto to serve as a windbreak.
Forty year mortages have arrived. Suggested advertising slogan: "Now you can be in your seventies and still not have paid down your house!
Federal poll shows Tories back on top by seven points. Apparently, the secret for the Tories' popularity is for them to do as little as humanly possible.
It was a bad day to be a glutenous mass of oil deposits suspended in silicate yesterday, as the World Wildlife Fund gave nine out of ten Alberta oilsands producers a failing grade and the National Resources Defense Council sent fifteen airlines a letter asking them to stop using oilsands-derived fuel. Don't be hatin' on the oilsands, people! It's not their fault they are so pollute-y!
The "Big Five" banks say we won't have a recession this year, but merely an economic slowdown. They continued, "Well, when we say 'we will have economic slowdown,' we mean you will have an economic slowdown." Then they stripped down to bathing suits and jumped into a giant swimming pool filled to the brim with money, and began swimming.
And the Leafs got pounded by the Anaheim Ducks, despite the fact that the Ducks are no longer Mighty.
Photo by Moonwire from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.
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There is no recession. The economy is fine. George W. Bush is a "peace president". The surge is working. The US does not torture. Iraquis feel much better off now. Pakistan is a democracy. The sub-prime mortgage scandal may actually be good for the world economy. When I see "Made in China", I see the word "Quality". Job security is at an all-time high. Down is the new up. Black is the new white.
"MONEY-FIGHT!!"
Dear WannaBinToranna
Have you -- by any chance -- been drinking Bill O'Reilly's Kool-Aid?
trade sundin, bring in some youth, get ferguson out.
"You're not gonna spin me, Senator...The Germans attacked Pearl Harbor, just ask Bluto Blutarsky!"
I was being so sarcastic in writing that, that I felt myself throw-up inside my mouth. I think the hardest part was "Bush is the p-p-ea"...Oh, helll, I can't even say his name and that word in the same sentence.
You mean they actually used their swimming suits to swim in their pool of money? I thought they would swim naked!
Paper cuts, Maria, paper cuts.
40 year mortgages! are you kidding me! so you can, what, buy an expensive house and keep paying for it long after you've retired while also paying off interest fees equal to many other smaller houses?
lame!
does this mean exotic mortgages are soon coming, along with our very own subprime crisis?
That "wind wall" will never work. The whole concept is flawed. Miller is an idiot.
does this mean exotic mortgages are soon coming, along with our very own subprime crisis?
- Count on it, the rest of the world is already feeling the US ripples. England is going through it also.
Oh, my bad. I thought it was a pool of gold coins, like the one Scrooge McDuck swims in. You know, with the ounce of gold at an all-time high and all.
Yeah, swimmming in gold coins is much more satisfying, when you dive into them, you get that "chiiing" sound. Make sure they are real gold though, or your genitals will turn green
: - )
@Ben
Lay off the wind wall, man! I'm sure that people laughed at the idea of underground trains, too. I, for one, welcome a relatively windless city.
ironic isn't it...everyone celebrated when the Berlin Wall came down...now, Israel in Gaza, the US along Mexico...Now, walls are ALL we want to build.
The wind is coming in and stealing our jobs, it strains our economy, we need to build a wall...now, I have no problem with wind that comes into my city legally...but when I feel a breeze...I get suspicious. I also see a lot of factories and rich people, with screens and open windows who are letting the wind in to freshen up their homes, or clean up their yards... when someone who was born here with a leaf blower could do the same job...unfortunatley...the wind does it cheaper and faster...we can't compete. We got the damn hurricanes from the east, tornados from the west.
A wall will send a message to the wind producing countries and those who harbour wind. You are either with us, or against us.
God Bless Solar Power!
: - )
You want windy? How about the storm in January in the late '70s? The air pressure went down to 27.95 inches of mercury!
Usually in a storm the mercury would go down to 29.95 inches. The loss of air pressure caused windows to pop out of Commerce Court and crash down on to Bay Street.
The winds were so strong that people had an awful time holding on to a safety line strung across TD plaza.
One truly could bend into the wind and not fall over.
This is the same storm that caused havoc along the Lake Erie shore and the Niagara Peninsula with record snowfalls in many places. Those poor souls got a sampling of the strength of the storm that was the famous Ice Storm of 1998 in Eastern Ontario and Quebec.
Yesterdays weather--serious that it was--was no match to the 1970s storm in this area.
'77?.. buffalo got that one right in the kisser.