January 16, 2008
Baby, You Can Steal My Car?
Good newspaper headlines are concise, descriptive, clear, and––occasionally, just occasionally––nothing short of genius. And then there's "Man who stole car with baby faces more charges."
Originally published yesterday on The Star's website without a clarifying subheadline, the wonderfully ambiguous title evokes at least three possible scenarios when left by itself:
1. The man and baby stole the car together. As infants are both prone to fits of uncontrollable rage, and are technically able to buy cars to train on, a scenario in which a baby angrily carjacks someone and competently drives away is not entirely out of the question. The headline also informs the reader that only the man is facing charges, as, presumably, the accomplice baby (who cannot be named under the Young Offenders Act) will be tried separately.
2. The man used the baby as some kind of tool to break into and steal the car. Overwhelming cuteness; tiny, door lock–sized fingers; and heavy, window-sized bodies: these are all useful things that thieves can make use of.
3. The baby was inside a car that the man stole.
(And that's excluding the myriad of interpretations possible if it's no normal car, but a "car with baby faces" that the article is talking about.)
Turns out that the third possibility––the least likely one, according to the headline's grammar and structure––is the actual one: in Newmarket, Viet Nguyen (the man) is alleged to have broken into and stolen a car with a 6-month-old (the baby) in its back seat. Fortunately, the baby is alright––and, thank God, not all right.
Photo by juliehicks75.
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A better headline would have read:
Man steals, car tire peels, and baby sqeals
;)
The Star occasionally has amusing headline-related goofs. They happen entertainingly enough that I almost think they're on purpose.
Witness: http://www.liamdynes.com/blog/2007/08/even-major-dailies-get-the-blues/
Oh the fun.
That's really funny.. yesterday my wife was reading this story, I glanced over and asked her "A man stole a car full of baby faces?"
Funnily enough, this story about grammar contains one significant error itself. One cannot have a "myriad of interpretations". It is possible, however, to have myriad interpretations. Myriad=many with respect to use.
When I saw the headline, I first read it as "baby faces" too and thought that Melleny Melody's legendary doll face art car was stolen.
If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be the baby's act break.
Big ups for the Arrested Development reference!
Liam, I can only hope that gentleman has recieved his skyrocket.
And Toddzilla, I actually used "myriad" correctly. From the Oxford English Dictionary (which I consulted before using the word, 'cause I wasn't totally sure I would be using it correctly):
An example of that use from Mark Twain:Myriad can be used in a myriad of ways!Absolutely brilliant post. Ambiguous headlines and grammatical errors in newspaper articles fill me with such glee!
Not to mention the Arrested Development reference - that was the icing on the cake. The "very literal" doctor is one of my favourite minor characters.